Thursday, December 19, 2013

Movies. Hogswatch. Charlie's angels.

Hello to all my readers. I hope you are traveling well in this festive season of festivities. Chrimbo for some, other festivals for, well, others.

We are traveling in an ambling fashion, what with us all being on hols and all. I am enjoying the relaxed pace although the smalls are still too small to allow their parents any GENUINE relaxation. Still we take what we get.

In order to steal some ALONE TIME we shoved the kids into daycare on Monday EVEN THOUGH WE ARE ON HOLIDAYS and went to the movies. Well, look, I had a Gold Class pass that was given to me by my boss IN MARCH that I really felt should be used. Unfortunately, either ticket prices have gone up in that time or my boss just felt like he couldn't quite spring for the FULL price of two tickets because when the card was handed over there was still $10 to pay. THANKS A LOT BOSS R I DON'T THINK! Outrageous.

Anyway I always like a Gold Class experience and it wasn't even ruined by the following facts;
  • I ordered churros to be delivered half way into the movie and they were dry and weird
  • One of the only other groups in the cinema were an EXTREMELY ELDERLY and frail couple who talked very loudly and confusedly to each other before finally, and noisily, leaving the movie early. Poor ducks.
  • I didn't really like the movie. It was American Hustle. I just couldn't really get into it. M liked it though. Margaret and David raved about it like crazy people. I was all like "meh".
My friend Mother Down Under also kindly invited me to see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty last night, she had scored some blogging related free tickets! Lucky me. I liked this one much more. Yes. Things I like about this movie include;
  • Ben Stiller
  • The scenery in Iceland and Greenland
  • The ending
  • The bit with the helicopter and the boat and that
 Anyway I recommend it.

In Chistmassy news, I have finished all my associated shopping and am enjoying my longstanding Christmas traditions of listening to this album;

and reading this book;

If you aren't familiar with either of these festive classics then I say, get thee to STAT! Or iTunes or a ye olde record shop/book shop.

Finally, I've said before that I am dead set lucky to have met some fabulous new friends through blogging. Some of those said friends are Cult Fashion Blogger and all round Excellent and Amusing person Faux Fuchsia, glamorous and talented Mummy Swap artiste Housewife in Heels, and crafty minx Mother Down Under. FF has quite taken us under her wing. She is the Charlie to our Angels. And when Charlie asks her angels to action something, we action the hell out of it.

FF is utilising her high end blog statistics and loyal readership to raise some cash for a little family she knows who have a sweet boy called Hugh. Hugh suffers from a condition called Alpers Syndrome. It is degenerative and life limiting. For more information, or to donate, you can read FF's blog or visit Hughie's website.

I am also going to attempt to put a link to his website on the blog sidebar but being the luddite that I am I might struggle. We'll see how that goes.

I am very lucky to have two beautiful and healthy children. There was a painful moment earlier in the year when we thought P was not going to be so healthy. It was the most frightening and exhausting time in my life. I can't imagine how hard it would be for Hugh's family.

Anyway, until next time, my loyal readers, adieu. Adieu. To you and you and you.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Op shop ninja. Sacrifice. Nihilism.

Things that have happened recently.

  • I got offered a place in the teaching Grad Dip. For too long I have fought the inevitable - my genetic inheritance. The time was nigh to give into fate and accept what is mine by right.  I'll be stalking the quadrangle telling surly teens to tuck their shirts in before you can say "Jack Robinson!"
  • I bought some cool shizz from my ole favourite op shop including a Sacha Drake dress that fits me perfectly for $12, a small orange Le Creuset frying pan for $4 and miscellaneous children's things. I am an op shop ninja.
  •  I had my last day of work for 2014.  Well, PAID WORK. I mean MY WHOLE LIFE IS WORK, RIGHT MOMS? Talk about SACRIFICING MYSELF ON THE ALTAR OF MOTHERHOOD!
  • I have undertaken 99% of my Christmas shopping. This is quite an achievement for me.
  • I am SICK TO DEATH of hearing people whinge about having to manage part time workers. SUCK IT UP PEOPLE! It's the 21st century dudes. Do you want to pick my children up for me, stay home and wipe their bums for me? Or pay the mortgage for me? No? Then shove it. Ugh.
  • I am sick of archaic inflexible workplaces incapable of entering the MODERN WORLD and UTILISING their resources efficiently and remaining TRAPPED in 20th century mentalities that go no way to FURTHER THE CAUSE OF THE WORKING MOTHER. Not mentioning any names. Ha.
  •  The cat shaving project appears to have been a success. Apart from how she looks like a bit of an alien. No hairballs. YES!
  • M requested a book about Nihilism for Christmas. Which made me think of this bit from The Big Lebowski.  Ve believe in nussink.

  •  I met up with the lovely Caitlin from Mother Down Under and her little chap C and we had a paddle in the water at the beach near us. You should visit her blog and enter her giveaways. They are THE BOMB DIGGITY.
  • In a surprising twist, we ate spaghetti bolognese for dinner last night. The novelty!
  • My mum found a dress at a second hand shop and posted it to me. She knew I would like it because I had cleverly blogged about things I coveted in this post! See! It pays to be specific.
  • I got my eyebrows tinted which, I am sad to say, was a bit of a mistake. I look a bit like this;
           Let's hope they fade.

How are your Xmas shopping trips progressing? Do you have eyebrows? Any exciting meals planned? DO TELL!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Double entendres.

Hello there. I must stop this sporadic blogging because it makes it hard to know where to begin, my life is just that rich and full. Maybe I will undertake some sort of New Year blog daily challenge or some such. I'll think on it.


"Mr. Humphries!  Leave my pussy alone!"

No, not THAT pussy you filthy beasts. Animals, the lot of you.

THIS pussy!


After! HAHAHA! Oh dear. I hardly recognised my pussy! Not quite a Brazilian but the feline equivalent of leaving a "landing strip" perhaps? A poodle cut maybe?

I had cleaned up one too many hairball vomits and cut poo out of her bum fur for the last time, my friends. This is the way of the future. I cannot believe we hadn't done it sooner. I am NEVER getting a long haired cat again. To be fair, this cat sort of foisted herself upon us.

I mean, I really LOVE cats, but this one PUSHES HER LUCK! I mean, she strolls in here, weasles her way into our hearts, forces us to adopt her, and then proceeds to VOMIT HAIRBALLS every five seconds whilst determinedly refusing to do any of the PLEASANT tasks that are the lot of a feline pet, like you know, letting you cuddle her or showing any interest in sitting on a lap. She is as aloof as a..well, I don't know what but FREAKING ALOOF.

When she's not crying to be rescued off the roof that is. That's right my friends. She can get ONTO the roof, but apparently not OFF the roof. Once again I was forced to retrieve her from said roof this evening using a LADDER. I KNOW! THE FREAKING HUMANITY!

In other news, it's hot, I've had ANOTHER tummy bug, we went to Kingscliffe and it was lovely, it's hot, I'm sweaty, P had her actual real life dance concert and by Jove it was hilarious for about the first 1 1/2 hours and then by the end of the ALMOST 3 HOURS we were FLAGGING just a bit. THE FREAKING HUMANITY! Also it's hot, I've done some Christmas shopping ONLINE and feel SMUG about it, I want to go and live in a RURAL IDYLL and buy a CHEAP HOUSE so we can stop being wage slaves and LIVE FOR THE NOW and craft shit and grow crap and sew and cook and be creative bohemian rural types. STYLISH ones. Not, you know, unfashionable ones. PERISH THE THOUGHT. Also I wish I could take artistic photos. Damn my pork sausage fingers.

Anyway I think I'm starting to become incoherent so here's some Kingscliffe visuals. Is that how you spell it? I'm losing it.

Ciao bellas.
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