Poo of a day. Festivus. For the rest of us.

WARNING: This post is long,  photo heavy and self-indulgent.


I had a CRAP DAY!  Everywhere I go I read blogs that say "I'm sick of hearing about people whinging and whining about life, harden up and be POSITIVE" and dammit I try hard to be humorous and see the good (which is hard as I am naturally all "What do you mean the glass is half empty?  It was never full!  Who drank it?  I'm thirsty and I want a drink and you mean my glass is EMPTY?") and what not but basically today was SHIT and I was a SHIT MOTHER and yelled at my toddler and rang my busy husband at work bawling and hysterical and had a HARDCORE MELTDOWN!  I put this status update on my personal FB account;

I usually hate whining FB rants but my 3 y.o. daughter and her behavior have reduced me to screaming rage filled tears today. I'm not looking for reassurance that I am an awesome mother here because I am freaking telling you today has been a What Not To Do as a Parent Day and I feel like poo. Yelling, screaming, crying, begging, shouting, chasing, threatening. You name it. Over it. Over it. Over it. I know there are people with awful problems and so forth but today I can't get perspective. And no booze. And no comfort eating. Farking farkity fark feck bum poo arse bugger bollocks crap shit.

This actually had the effect of cheering me up no end because of course my personal cheer squad chimed in with supportive crap out the whazoo so I am ok again and about to GET ME SOME BOOZE.  Also we bought P McDonalds in an attempt to atone for the horror day.  Poor kid stuck with a psycho mother. Who buys her junk food. Oh well.

Here's some slightly more cheering festive thoughts from me to distract from the gloom and horror of the day.

This year we will be up at the Slapdash family compound and spending Christmas Day with Mum in a sort of weird retro revisiting of family Christmases I have known.  It will be nice but also sad.  Last Christmas we didn't even know my stepdad was sick and now he is gone.  Anyway here's a sort of Dickensian tribute, a photo montage of recent-ish Family Christmases Past.

A much younger Mum sitting near the Chrissy Tree perusing some weird  retro cookbook for Christmas Dinner ideas no doubt. Maybe 1995-ish?

  This pic is from what I like to call "The Portly Years".  Mum and Dad and me looking rather well fed indeed. Brother C probs taking the pic.

This is much more recent.  Me and my bro at the unit at Mooloolaba we all stayed in one year.  This was M's first Christmas with us.  Probably 2005?

My first Christmas with M's family.  M partaking in a little tipple as he glazes the ham.

Cake and sherry.  The essence of Christmas.

The completed ham from that year.

M checking out his ancestral Christmas Tree.

Lunch with his family.  Me on my best behaviour, I didn't burp or even use the wrong cutlery or anything!

It was pork that year.  Crackling, anyone?

Fruity flan!

Another year, at M's family pre-Christmas knees-up.

The same year.  We went out to lunch at Pepper's Hervey Bay on Christmas Day with Dad.  Delightful and no washing up.

Same year.  M partaking in some bubbles.

Same year.  Awkward family shot.

First Christmas in our new house.

Dad and my brother-in-law with our niece.  

 All M's fam and my Dad and bro.  Note the crazy blue velvet cusions on the chairs.  We also inherited this dining suite from the same lady as the couches.  I ripped those suckers off and Mum and I reupholstered the hell out of them by buying some cheap IKEA fabric and staple gunning it on in true slapdash fashion.

As above, with atmospheric blurriness.

P's first Christmas.  Have Bumbo, will travel.

Christmas with Grandpa.  This was a hellish year where we drove to every parent under the sun and I went mad.

Christmas at Mum's with my brother C.

It was some time around this day that I went mad.  Screaming , sleep-deprived batshit crazy.  Sorry everyone.  Seems like this is a bit of a pattern for me!!!

Christmas the next year just us 3.  Was supposed to be Mum and her husband D too but the horror floods meant no traveling.  It was quite lovely really not to have to go anywhere.

Angel scampering.

The loot.

The morning.

Family photo.  Lush crazy vegetables and herbs in the background due to major crazy rain that year.

Last year.  Everyone at our house again.

Cousins.

My stepdad. And the ham. We didn't know this would be his last Christmas.

Pressies.

Table set ready to roll.

Almondy boozey fruity cakey goodness.

I for one can't wait for Christmas.  I am anything but a Scrooge.  Bring it on. We all need to look forward to something.