Because blogging from the phone is as time consuming and laborious as turfing your own backyard on a steamy January day, this will be short and sweet. I can hear your sighs of relief from here.
The topic today is Ranting and Raving.
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| Baby B knows it isn't healthy to keep it all inside. LET IT OUT LET IT OUT LET IT OUT!!! |
Hahahaaaa.
I will adopt my dot point blogging proforma for this post, what with the short and sweet goal.
Ok. Deep breath. Out with anger, in with cupcakes. I mean scones. I mean love. Yeah, love. Not those other things. Although I do confuse food with love, we all know that already.
- On my drive into Brisbane for work, there is a long stretch of the motorway that has signs up saying 80km/hour, because there are apparently "no lane markings". This enrages me beyond measure for multifarious reasons. Firstly, because I am as law abiding a citizen as they come, I do 80km/hour. I abide by the limit. I pootle along, even though the normal limit is 110. I do what i am told, people. I do what I am told.
- My issue is that I am the ONLY person who does this. I crawl along at a granny pace while all around me agro P platers, semi trailers, soccer mums and tradies in utes hoon past me at a rate of knots. It makes me so angry I could...why, I could just about scream! I clench the steering wheel in rage with the veins in my neck popping out in sympathy. WTF people!!!?? Why you no drive at the speed limit??? I know it is tortuously slow but I don't make the rules! I hate you all!
- My rage is compounded because although the speed limit is reduced as a result of an alleged absence of lane markings, this, my friends, is patently untrue. There are freaking lane markings! There are! I can see them! Ok, I will admit that there is a tiny section devoid of lane markings, but 99% of the 80 zone is marked and ready for action. What the hell? Did they leave the signs out by accident? Is it a prank? Am I being punk'd by Ashton Kutcher? You little shit I'm onto you!
My already stressful commute is rendered almost intolerable by this stretch of road.
It is a bloody scandal and an outrage.
There are starving children, an entire Australian election campaign functioning in a policy vacuum and asylum seekers rotting in detention centres, but for ME the BIG ISSUE IS RIGHT HERE.
MY LIFE IS ALREADY SO HARD WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO MAKE IT HARDER? I mean, I'm well educated, middle class, white, with a loving husband, two cute kids and a house in the suburbs. What a hard freaking life!
POOR ME! WHAT ABOUT ME! IT ISN'T FAIR! I'VE something something AND I WANT MY SHARE CAN'T YOU SEEEEE? I WANNA LIVE! YOU JUST something something GIIIIVE!
Is your life made dreadful and intolerable by inexplicable road signage and thoughtless drivers?
Do tell old friends!
There are starving children, an entire Australian election campaign functioning in a policy vacuum and asylum seekers rotting in detention centres, but for ME the BIG ISSUE IS RIGHT HERE.
MY LIFE IS ALREADY SO HARD WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO MAKE IT HARDER? I mean, I'm well educated, middle class, white, with a loving husband, two cute kids and a house in the suburbs. What a hard freaking life!
POOR ME! WHAT ABOUT ME! IT ISN'T FAIR! I'VE something something AND I WANT MY SHARE CAN'T YOU SEEEEE? I WANNA LIVE! YOU JUST something something GIIIIVE!
Is your life made dreadful and intolerable by inexplicable road signage and thoughtless drivers?
Do tell old friends!
I have to say I am one of those idiots that you see driving past you! BUT I have my reasons. I reckon that if more than 50 per cent of the commuters are going faster than me, they will be the ones getting tickets, so as long as I'm slower than them then I will be okay! Em xx
ReplyDeleteMy husband operates under the same logic
DeleteLots and lots of people shitty with other drivers. So glad that I commute by train and only drive here and there on the weekends.
ReplyDeleteHubbie drives each day and goes MAD with rage at other drivers. Between you and me, I think that he does all the same things that he complains about in other drivers, but I'm guessing that you hear me when I say it is NOT WORTH IT to point that out to him.
I hear you K. Discretion is certainly the better part of valour in that case.
DeleteWhat drives us totally mad are the crappy drivers who signal AFTER they've pulled into your lane 2 inches in front of you.Bastards.Also, people who stop in their car to have a little chat with someone, causing us to wait and wait.....and people who beep their horn at me when I'm walking and they're in their car. Why? Annoying as hell.
ReplyDeleteThey are all scum! Scum I tell you!
DeleteOMG. Can we PLEASE talk about people passing on the left?
ReplyDeleteIt ENRAGES me!
It is dangerous and perhaps illegal? Just bad driving manners!
Downright rude that's what it is!!!
DeleteYou blogged from your phone?? That' takes dedication! - it didn't even occur to me to do that from the pub - I just whinged and moaned on FB about my lack of Internet (it's back again but for how long who bloody knows!), drank beer and chatted up some old bloke.
ReplyDeleteDedicated is my middle name. Although drinking beer and chatting up old blokes sounds more enjoyable.
DeleteEeeehhhh…. apart from being SUPREMELY impressed at you blogging by phone, can I enrage you a little further with my bleaty-sheeplike sentiments? If that was my stretch of road, and it pissed me off, I'd say if you can't beat em, join em (I mean, don't beat em, like, by trying to go faster, but join in, with the going fastness thing). Wow. I am so articulate today. Friday, Friday, I gotta get down. And sleep.
ReplyDeleteNeverrrrrrrr!
DeleteOne of the things I love about working from home - no commuting! Although I do go into a client's office every Tuesday, about a half hour drive. The joy is though I go when I want to, which means I can avoid peak hour traffic too :-)
ReplyDeletePeak hour traffic is demonic. Truly.
DeleteThe traffic is the worst part of my day. I hate it. And I hate idiot drivers who aren't on the ball when they're on the road. I feel the pain with the road rage. I feel it.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely not an original complaint but by golly it's common for a reason!
DeleteToo funny! I can't stand people who deliberately go on the left lane in a merging into one lane road then just cut me off. THEN they don't even raise their hand to say thanks!
ReplyDeleteDriving and me...lethal combination.
I know! Too enraging! Grr!
DeleteI'm always abiding by the speed limit like yourself and end up with some tail gater right up my arse. Rude.
ReplyDeleteTotally rude! Cheeky buggers.
DeletePoor wee chook. I would deffo drive past you. for a couple of reasons.
ReplyDeleteI ALWAYS ignore stupid rules (assuming it is possible). ALWAYS. Rules are made up by the collective to make us safer or make our lives better. When they fail to do that, we change them. If I can't change them I ignore them whenever possible.
Also, nothing makes me more nervous than having an idiot tailgater on my tail. Having been rammed up the arse when stationary many years ago I will do my very best to get out of the way of those clowns at all times and in situations like that the moronic tailgaters are out in force.
BUT I would NEVER tailgate you, honk you or do anything stupid or dangerous. For a person with quite a temper, I am very safe and well behaved on the road. The most people usually get is a "cannot believe it" raised hands, or shake of the head (most recently directed at a mother I inched past as the dragged her child across a busy road at peak hour - looked straight at her with my For Fuck Sake look and shook my head in that disbelieving way. Felt good baby). We can't change what others do, only how we react to it. Hahaha! Hark at me being all Zen.
If I couldn't get past you with no dramas I would sit behind you like a good little driver. (Did you read my Shake rant on dangerous drivers. Get the beepers off my road!) Be careful out there!
Dangerous driving makes me so angry! Don't they know i have my precious babies in the car?? Grr.
DeleteDriving dont get me started about Sydney ....so crowded ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteActually my heart's not in the rant mood , have started a new job I LOVE IT ...get to talk to people ALL day. It's just a bus ride away ..more relaxing
Oh that's great news! I'm so pleased to hear that smr xx
Deleteyes...the dreaded "can't drive" drivers.
ReplyDeleteNothing worse right!!
DeleteI'm an old granny driver these days too. I changed my tune since living in Vietnam where road rules are mere suggestions because everyone's speeding up to avoid the traffic police, and living in Chile where road rules are ignored because everyone imagines themselves driving on the Grand Prix. Now I'm quite happy sitting on 75 and letting everyone whiz past me.
ReplyDeleteHere's my road rant on Santiago, Chile - not for the fainthearted. http://www.freezecheese.com/on-the-road-to-fun-dammit/
Oh god I don't know how you were brave enough to do all that terrifying foreign driving! Am on phone but will check out your posts as soon as I can! Thanks for commenting!
DeleteYou are hilarious and I'm looking forward to 'casing' your blog! Thanks so much for linking up for our Sharing is Caring Sunday. Lots of social media love headed your way this week. xx
ReplyDeleteNaw thank you!
DeleteIt's gracious of you to acknowledge those less fortunate than yourself, but that doesn't detract from how FREAKIN' ANNOYING our roads can be sometimes. We have endless roadworks around our end of town and the speed signs change constantly. I am a law abiding type too, which often has me doing 40 with a string of cars up my butt getting annoyed at my obedience. Hope your rant made you feel better!
ReplyDeleteI am a law abiding citizen except when it comes to driving at low speeds for road works which aren't necessarily current.... I can't help it. Something takes over and I can't help but drive at a more normal limit. Sorry, but I'd probably overtake you on that annoying stretch. But, I live on the edge...
ReplyDelete