Tuesday, December 22, 2015

A big year.

Well, I made it. School holidays FOR THE WIN as they say.  Now I remember why I did teaching. I kid, I kid. I just re-read the last post I wrote and BY JOVE it was a bit NEGATIVE.

Despite all the rage I ended up really enjoying my time at the school.  It was hard, by God it was hard, but it was totally worth it.  Highlights included the Year 12 formal (I know! Hilarious!), the absolutely amazingly awesome other teachers in my staff room, new friends, some fabulous kids.  I will miss it.  Even the kids who hated me. I feel sorry for them because obviously I am the hippest and funnest teacher evah and they never even realised it.  POOR THEM I SAY!

Anyway, I cannot WAIT to start my new job. I will be in charge of the school library and will also have two classes to teach (Year 11 and Year 8 English).  It is LITERALLY (and I DON'T MEAN THIS FIGURATIVELY) my dream job. Not that I'm not freaking out about all the work and responsibility and shizz but I am so happy to have something so wonderful.

In interesting developments, we have also decided to pool our meagre financial resources in with my ole Dad's and buy a big house together with a granny flat or some such arrangement for him.  A glamorous granny flat.  This is also very exciting and I hope I can blog about our journey on the way.  Because goodness knows I am ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY PEOPLE #grateful #journeythingo #somethingsomething

2016 is the year I remember I want to be a writer, the year I start cooking again, the year I start exercise and the year I kick arse Teacher Librarian style.  Not that I am one for setting up BIG NEW YEAR EXPECTATIONS OR ANYTHING (see previous posts for low-key New Year sensibleness).

Here's some pictures because BLOG.

Playing croquet because GENTEEL and CIVILISED

The beach, which I have taken to enjoying now that I have bought really expensive togs. That's all it takes peeps.
The tree.It's a new one. Suits the high ceilings. Don't look at the washing. I said DON'T LOOK AT IT GODD!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Teaching. If you can call it that.

Hello there. I like to update my blog once a quarter whether I need to or not.

How is everything, I hear you ask? Well, look, good and bad.  Swings and roundabouts.  Ups and downs, as they say.

Did I mention I'd finished my delightful temporary gig as librarian at a charming all-girls school? No? Well, I finished it, which was sad.  So I started a new temporary gig as an English teacher at a large outer-suburban state high school.

Why did I decide to do teaching again? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Because basically I can't remember right now.

The bad classes like me again now, but the good class (and I use that term RATHER LOOSELY) have decided they hate me.

This is testing my previously staunch dedication to state education.  WHERE ARE PEOPLE'S MANNERS????? WHERE???

In what can only be described as an UP that is keeping me moving, I found out I got a position as a Teacher Librarian at a small Catholic girls high school.  Full time. Permanent. I know. MUCH EXCITE! SO LIBRARY! VERY BOOK! ALL GIRLS SCHOOL!

Downside; doesn't start til 2016. So on I persist, dragging the reluctant teenage dirtbags through their final assessment items while their previous beloved teacher goes on maternity leave.  SO EASY RIGHT!? NO PROBLEMS HERE! PIECE OF CAKE!

OMG.  Say what you will about private schools, behaviour management is not even a thing there.  I know. I hate myself too. 

I can only hope they change my email code from sxmcc10.  Yes that's right. Sex Mac. That's the email address I have to give out to the kids.  Needless to say I have avoided it so far and placed a request that some NERDISH type in the IT help centre change it POST HASTE.  This is happening VERY SLOWLY.  Like everything seems to at the educational government department I am referring to.

I say bring back the cane*

*just kidding. The cane's too soft for the little bastards.**

And every day I wake up I try AGAIN to be kind and understanding yet firm and GOD ALMIGHTY sometimes it goes dreadfully wrong.

Tell me it will be ok? Please?
ME EVERY DAY NOW *insert sad face*

Monday, September 21, 2015

It's harder to make a comeback than you think!

Remember when Thorpie made a sort of comeback at some swim meet, maybe it was the Olympics or something, and he kind of crashed and burned? No? Well I'm pretty sure that happened at some stage.  Well I am writing this blog post just so I can show up the Thorpedo for the loser that he is (kidding, he is totally not a loser he is a Great Guy with Excellent Clothes and is a fabulous role model for homosexual youngsters and hetero youngsters too for that matter).

Anyway, I never said I would be writing REGULARLY or anything! Maybe I will just do 4 blog posts a year; one every school holidays.

I've survived one full school term of full time employ and am now enjoying some quality rancho relaxo time (when I say rancho relaxo I actually mean cleaning my disgusting house, yelling at the smalls and marking).

I've been spending a lot of time recently having these feelings, and they are a bit contradictory and NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT;

1.  I have been feeling disappointed with my life.  I know it is NOT politically correct to say this as I am white, middle class, healthy, employed (mostly), have healthy kids, no dead parents etc. but still.  I am. I really thought I would have more money by 35. I rang a financial planner today and frankly reading between the lines (or listening in between the awkward pauses) I think she was a bit shocked by our situ.  I suppose at least we aren't treading too heavily on the earth.  Apart from how we are always doing dumb things like laying down cold hard cash for ridiculous things, like the $15 I spent on a fancy tub of M's favourite ice-cream today. I know I AM SO STUPID!!!!!!  Also, anyone on my Facebook who is reading this and thinking "there she goes again all whiney and hating on herself why won't she be more zen" just shut up.

2.  Sad and worried about the refugee situation in Europe/Syria.  I have started the slow process of trying to become more of an ACTIVIST instead of just sharing stupid articles on Facebook which is about as far as I usually go which is shameful and disgusting.  I've put our names down to host a Syrian family when they get here which has elicited unkind comments from my husband and father that when the family sees the gross bathroom we have they will be ringing the Department of Immigration and demanding to be taken to Nauru stat (SEE I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T POLITICALLY CORRECT).

Who else here feels a bit disappointed with their financial management skills? Anyone feeling let down by their life and yet simultaneously grateful for it because NOT IN SYRIA?  I am a complex creature.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015


So it's been a while, yeah? I don't know where to begin. What's been happening, I hear you ask? Well, look, what HASN'T been happening might be a better question.

Since I last posted, I think this has happened;

1. Sold our beautiful house for less than we paid for it. Have only just stopped bawling my eyes out about this emotional and financial setback but still FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS AND ALL THAT EH WHAT.

2. Moved to Brisbane. I chose our rental house in what can only be described as RUSHED and LESS THAN IDEAL circumstances that were mainly about me panicking we wouldn't have a roof over our heads and now we have ended up with a character-filled but also REPULSIVELY RUNDOWN hovel. Mould, stained bath, rotten gutters, filthy venetian blinds. And so forth. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger RIGHT PEOPLE!? It's not so bad *coughs up a lung from mould spore contagion*

3. P started prep. I KNOW RIGHT WHERE DID THE TIME GO MY BABY AND ALL THAT. Seems to be going gangbusters after a shaky start.

4. Graduated as a teacher *heck yes*. Got temporary contract at fancy pants girls school. Interesting times.

There's probably other stuff but I'm exhausted from squabbling children and eating too many jelly snakes - WHAT'S NEW HEY SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE!

Tell me what's been going on with you.


Saturday, August 8, 2015

I'm back.

So I've decided to return to Slapdash Mama.

I've spent months and months trying to think of a new blog and not writing anything.

It seems stupid. I've been worried about people finding this blog and then not giving me a job as a teacher but that seems ridiculous too.  I mean it's an asset surely I AM JUST SO WITTY what is not to like and hire about me and this blog?

Blogging has given me more enjoyment, interesting connections and lifelong friendships than anything else.

SO I'm back. For what it's worth.

Talk soon dudes.
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