Thursday, August 29, 2013

What to wear on election day.

Confused about what ensemble to adopt on the big day? No, I don't mean your WEDDING day, I mean the election day, duhhhhhh.

Worry no more. Just read my helpful tips and be AMAZED!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Policies for working families

I've written something for my learned colleagues at The Tunnel Presents, and amusing satirical blog that I may have mentioned before.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Joan Baez chooses diamonds.

Mum and I went to see Joan Baez in concert last Monday night. I had bought tickets for Mum’s birthday, which was very nice of me in theory, but fairly amusing in reality when you think about the money that mum has given me over the years and even very recently when I needed it.  Stupid money I loathe and despise it. But I need it. DAMN IT. I suppose it is the thought that counts.

Anyway I met Mum after work and we had dinner at a Turkish restaurant in South Bank. In keeping with the moderately geriatric theme of the evening, we had dinner at 5.30pm. The Russian waiter was a little incredulous when we told him, oh no, we have plenty of time, the show doesn’t start til 8pm! My mother doesn’t like being late for things, and fair enough I say.

We ordered a huge carb and protein heavy platter for two that consisted of practically a whole loaf of bread and dips, twenty thousand lamp chops and kofta. We then proceeded to discover we were not equal to this gargantuan meal. I was feeling uncomfortable and overfull which is not a good thing when you have a late night at a rock concert* ahead of you. My eyes are notoriously too big for my tummy, and my tummy is pretty big so that is saying something.

As you can imagine, we ambled over to the performing arts centre with plenty of time. In fact we had to wait around for quite a while in the foyer, watching the other audience members arrive. It probably comes as no surprise that I lowered the demographic considerably, the average age making Mum look like a veritable spring chicken. There was a proliferation of Comfortable Shoes, with a trend towards the Walking Sandal or Smart Sneaker, and there were even numerous fans arriving in their wheelchairs. Mum remarked that it wouldn’t be long before we saw someone turn up in a hospital gurney attached to a drip.

I hasten to add that it didn’t bother me in the slightest - I mean, the last time I had been to see a show at QPAC was when I attended amatinee of the opera Carmen with my aunt and members of her University of the Third Age posse. Because I came straight from work I realised I had even worn the same outfit as I did on that occasion. I am so glamorous. But seriously, I am anything if ageist and frankly my tastes often run to the more mature anyway. Just check out my husband! I KID I KID!

Being early to find our seats meant we had to stand up while others in our row shuffled by, including one older lady who, as she squeezed past, exclaimed, “Why, you’re very YOUNG!”. As she moved towards her place, she spied another young-ish man and shouted “And YOU are very young TOO!!”

We looked apologetically at each other.
I mean what could we do? I’m not that young really. I can like Joan Baez. So sue me.

Pretty funny to see that Woodstock brigade getting about as senior citizens these days. Hahahaaa.

Anyway Joan was really fantastic. She looks amazing. She is really beautiful and gets about with a close cropped grey hairdo that I hope to emulate one day. I found the concert very soothing at a time in my life that I am finding very stressful.
Also she is a reminder we need to get our activist on a bit more. She is a true believer.

My sister-in-law was at the concert too, but I didn’t get to see her, because Joan, the trooper that she is, powered on for a whole 2 hours or so without a break.

 She sang all the old favourites like “The night they drove old Dixie down”, and that sort of bittersweet song she wrote about Bob Dylan, “Diamonds and Rust”.
Instead of singing this angst ridden final line;

And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

She offered up her own lighthearted, updated version, and sang;

And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I choose diamonds

And quite right too. So would I.

 *geriatric folk music concert

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Getting all empassioned with The Lounge.

Hi all!
Today I am hosting The Lounge linkup and we are talking about our PASSIONS. What gets us all ENTHUSED. Or what gets us HOT UNDER THE COLLAR. If you know what I mean.

Feel free to link up a post telling us what you feel passionately about. Your husband? Your kids? Writing erotic fiction? Chaining yourself to Ancient Trees in an act of Selfless Environmental Warriorism? We're all unique snowflakes with our own wants and needs and loves and lusts and...ahem.

Or link up something unrelated, I'm cool with that too. Easygoing is my middle name. No really, it is!

Anyway, I guess I should write something.

What am I passionate about?

Look, to quote Lisa Simpson, I'm a member of the MTV generation. I feel neither highs nor lows.

I kid, I kid! As if!

I am a veritable hotbed of passions. I am bloody passionate about having a good strong cup of tea every morning (not too much milk), and am positively evangelical about jeggings, as we all know.  I rage against the patriarchy like there's no tomorrow and challenge the dominant paradigm like a motherfucker whenever I get the opportunity. As you do.

But what I really want to talk about, just briefly, is my passion for the issue of asylum seekers, aka refugees.

I'm not going to rant on about it. I am careful what I say on the blog, politically speaking, so I am not going to single out any political party's particular policy.  I am just going to dot point a few things here that articulate how I feel about the subject. I am not an expert. I am just a human being.

-  Nobody chooses to be an asylum seeker. To paraphrase Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, refugees aren't coming here because we have better TV, they are coming because people are shooting at them
-  Seeking asylum is a human right under the UN Refugees Convention
- Mandatory detention for long periods of time is wrong and an inhumane way to deal with people waiting for refugee applications
- The idea that there is an "orderly" process that people should follow, but don't,  seems quite laughable to me. I mean if you were in a massive refugee camp in Jordan, with your young family, cheek by jowl with thousands of people, little security, violence and rape going on, and you had some money, wouldn't you do ANYTHING to get them out of there? I am amazed people can't put themselves in other people's shoes and imagine what it might be like! They are just people like you and I! They had professions, jobs, houses, cars.... I mean, who says it would never happen in Australia? We'd all be boat people then.

Zaatari Refugee Camp in Jordan. Cosy, right? [Source]

- There are actually other possible ways of approaching the issue of processing asylum seekers that are quite different to the dominant paradigm of "stop the boats" or "refuse all boat arrivals" and detention for prolonged periods of time.  There are other voices out there with other ideas. We just need to listen to them.

If anyone is interested in learning more about some of the OTHER possible ways to deal with asylum seekers in Australia, you can start here;

- Julian Burnside - "You've been misled on boat people"
- Julian Burnside - "Four steps to more humane refugee processing"
- Information on the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre FB page/website
- Waleed Aly "There's a paradox at the heart of the PNG plan" 
- Malcolm Fraser "Open our hearts, and our doors, to refugees"

I just wish the major parties wouldn't feel like they had to outdo each other in harsh, broad brush, draconian and inhuman policies. I wish there could be a bipartisan approach. There is a trend towards taking a bipartisan and humanitarian approach towards indigenous issues in Australia, and I wish the same would happen for our refugee policies too.

The end.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Bloggers IRL.

How are YOU all going? Hmm? You'll have to speak up, I'm on the internet.

Some housekeeping points;

- blogging is taking up too much time so I've cut it back
- Some lovely people have nominated me for a few Leibster awards. I DON'T THINK I AM GOING TO GET TO PASS THEM ON OR ANSWER THEM PROPERLY I AM SO SORRY! But thank you all VERY much.
- Today is The Lounge linkup - at Kimbo's blog - 

 Let us proceed now we have that out of the way.

Do you ever wonder if bloggers are real people? Or if they really are like their blog personas, or if they are actually 60 year old men using a computer in their mother's basement?

I used to. I don't any more because I've met a few IRL. That's internet speak for "In Real Life".  One of the most wonderful things that's happened since I started the blog, apart from allowing me to EXPRESS MYSELF CREATIVELY LIKE THE ARTISTE THAT I AM, is that I have made new friends. So exciting. I always feel a bit weird explaining I have friends I made on the INTERWEB like. But look, it's the way of the future, dudes. Who am I to stand in the way of PROGRESS!

Frankly it's a bit of an ask making friends when you get into your 30s so hooray for technology.

I'm just going to randomly rave on about some of the blogging peeps I have met for a bit.  Maybe you will like them too.

Veggie Mama
Veggie Mama blogs about motherhood, and food - vego food and recipes. Stacey is the most lovely, kind, truly helpful person. As well as being STRIKINGLY BEAUTIFUL, she is also smart and funny, and has been super generous with her bloggie help. She is a veritable treasure trove of blogging info.

Sit Down Mummy
Well I don't know if she counts because I knew her IRL before blogging but Kate is hilarious, kind, sporty, hilarious, multi talented, and did I mention hilarious. I luff her. She was at our wedding! Oh the memories...

Mother Down Under
Caitlin is adorable, utterly unpretentious, funny and kind. We met for the first time a little while ago, when we met up at our fellow blogger Housewife in Heels' new dress shop in BrisVegas. She has also recently started up her own Hypnobirthing business so anyone in Brissy about to pop out a sprog should look her up.

Housewife In Heels
As well as having a totes hilarious blog HiH is in person super glam, funny and warm. You should go and visit her dress shop, it's in Paddington and is called "The Pop Up Shop", you might snaffle a bargain. I tried on some frocks a while back but it was in the uber hairy leg days so it was all a bit unpleasant. She was very polite about it though. You can't take me anywhere really.

Faux Fuchsia
FF is a CULT BLOGGER - she blogs about style, fashion, motherhood, cushions, the royal family - you name it. And through a fortuitous connection she is also friends with Mother Down Under, who introduced us one evening over a glass of red wine. Talk about freaking star struck. I've only read her blog like FOREVER! She is just as you might expect IRL. SUPER GLAM, very very funny and warm. I was awkward and dorky. But, oh well. We swapped mobile numbers so WE ARE TOTALLY FRIENDS NOW, RIGHT? AM I RIGHT??

The Very Inappropriate Blog
Ah, Rachel. Rachel my fellow lounge lizard. I read her blog and instantly knew - we were KINDRED SPIRITS. If you haven't read it then start here. I did. I've recently had the pleasure of sharing a rather boozey and mental weekend with Rachel and our other Lounge associate Kim. TRUE FRIENDS FOR LIFE FOR REALZ NOW!


Falling Face First
Kimbo, Kimbooli, Kimbo Slice. Kim is my mum's favourite commenter on this blog, along with Sulky Kitten. Look, mum loves you all but I am allowing her favoritism just this once. Kim is a blonde bombshell, and writes with a witty flair about the trials of motherhood second only - well, second only to MEEEEE DAHHHHLINKS! I kid, I kid. Not about her being witty. We've shared a lot, have Rachel and Kim and I. WHAT GOES ON TOUR STAYS ON TOUR RIGHT PEEPS?

Before we started getting VERY INAPPROPRIATE and in danger of FALLING FACE FIRST - see what I did there?

A Cooker and a Looker
Amanda's blog is  AWESOME AND EXCELLENT. She takes good snaps and writes witty recipes and is downright high-larious. She once made me some biscuits and had them couriered to my house from the Sunshine Coast! I KNOW RIGHT! She also made the journey down to meet us on the weekend and helped nurse me through one of the worst hangovers of my life. Also, her oldest daughter, colloquially known as The Big Sister, and P, were immediate fast friends so everyone's a winner.

Hello you angels of hangover sustenance.

Have a Laugh on Me
Thanks, Em, don't mind if I do! Em and I met at my first bloggers meetup thingo (Amanda was there too) and we HIT IT OFF BABY! And also discovered we live practically two seconds away from each other. We've met up since for a park playdate that was cut short, due to an unfortunate incident that meant I was - oh God I can hardly say the words - FORCED TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON A THREAT! That is, I told P if she didn't stop being heinous we would have to LEAVE. SO, you know, we left. But here's hoping a ladies only WINE NIGHT might mean we can finish a conversation one day. 

The Tunnel Presents  
The Tunnel dudes write HILARIOUS and WITTY political satire, and have started a tradition of enacting humorous political scenes with LEGO. Also, it is vaguely possible that I might be a little bit related to one of them. A bit. Maybe. READ THIS BLOG - DO IT!

These are just a few of the awesome bloggers out there who have now become part of my life FOR REALZ. Motherhood is weird and finding kindred spirits out there has really meant the world.

Life is confusing and hard. We can help each other by reaching across the interwebs and making CONNECTIONS and shit. Maybe one day I will connect with you. And stuff.

Check ya!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

My greatest achievements. An emo post, in pictures.

In keeping with my low energy levels, I give you my post for The Lounge, the theme of which is - Greatest Achievements.

Today it's being hosted by Tegan at Musings for the Misguided. Check out everyone else's posts - I am sure they are more exciting than this!

Here's my greatest achievements, both of them, in all their glory....

Yeah so I am keeping up my photographic head guillotining, mostly. Just call me Robespierre. Two words, people. "Digital Footprint".

Until next time, you can rest easy in the knowledge that in this household, we endorse onesies dressed up with arran cardigans, flannelette jarmies and pink fluffy dressing gowns. In case you were wondering.

Ciao xx
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