Monday, February 24, 2014

My old man's a dustman.

P has had a bit of mean girl action at kindy this year so she's been a bit sad. We've been trying our best to cheer her up, and she does seem to be feeling better now.

Anyway, something that never fails to brighten her day is playing her that timeless classic, that essential component of the musical canon, that moving piece of the soundtrack to our lives - "My old man's a dustman", by wordsmith and humourist Lonnie Donegan.

If you are unfamiliar with this tune, I present it here for your enjoyment;

If you can't be shagged pressing Play, I can let you know that the chorus of the song goes something like this;

" old man's a dustman;
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat!"

And so forth.

Don't ask me why we have this in our iTunes collection, it's just yet another of the mysterious bonuses that comes from being married to my husband.  His tastes are...eclectic.

P enjoys it greatly and knows many of the words off by heart.

Unfortunately she also knows some of the RATHER POLITICALLY INCORRECT jokes that run through it off by heart too.

I am having palpitations that she is going to get up for kindy show and tell one day and come out with something like;

 "I SAY, I SAY, I SAY! How do you make a fruit cordial?"
"I dunno, how DO you make a fruit cordial?"
"Oooh, be NICE to me!"



"I believe in clubs for women, but only when kindness fails!" OOH ERR!

Cold sweats, I tell you.

On the positive side, listening to this song precipitated an opportunity to discuss some of the ins and outs of SOCIAL DEMOCRACY with my 4 year old daughter, when she asked me, "Mummy, what is a council flat?"

I bored on about SOCIAL HOUSING and GOVERNMENT SAFETY NETS and POOR PEOPLE and HELPING OUR FELLOW MAN until her eyes glazed over and she interrupted me to demand "Mummy...I want a BIKKIE!!" which was fair enough really.

Is your old man a dustman? Does he live in a council flat? Do you believe in clubs for women, as well as clubs for men?

I'm all ears, me old chinas.



  1. Thanks NS, that tune has been going round my head all morning now!

  2. I haven't heard that song in ages - it brought back heaps of great memories of when I was a kid and my Dad would sing it to me.
    Have the best day !

  3. thanks my dad used to play this all the time when I was a kid way back in the 60s.I shall now sing this all day and drive my French family nuts !!!! Liz

  4. Too funny. Tried the fruit cordial joke on Mr Sans. Bugger, he knew it. He's probably got the "tune" on his iTunes too.

    Glad it cheered P. Beats The Wiggles.

  5. I've never heard of it - until now!!!
    It's very clever, and un PC especially "the next time my old man when round there he punched him up the throat".
    I can just imagine my boys taking his and running with it.
    Sad to hear there's some mean girl action at kindy, my moo had that last year and I was NOT HAPPY! There were words, sit downs and then I found out the girl's parents weren't around and she was being raised by her grandparents. It's a tough world out there, sorry for all that you and your princess are going through, I hope things get better, or maybe she can move rooms xxx

  6. Sorry P's had a hard time. Times are tough for my eldest too. We should have a play date one day!

  7. Gosh thats an old one ...I remember the days when rugby league players were garbos son cant believe it ..those were the days

    My grandmother born in St Kilda in 1906 was apparently sent home from kindy (or whatever they had in those days) for singing a naughty song ..its an age old problem

  8. I have never heard this song.
    But children's really do say the darndest things…and those things are always things they have heard you say!
    And in mean boy news, C has taken to roaring at people. Not really mean…just a dinosaur stage…but awkward for me nonetheless! Especially since his favourite roaring targets are babies.

  9. Ha! What a trip down memory lane - my dad used to chant this one to us when we were wayward children. Good times. I love un-PC stuff, it opens up the MOST interesting discussions with the kids!! x

  10. I remember that old song so well from when I was much younger, and those jokes there were contained in it.
    When my daughter was quite small back in the late 1950s her favourite song, believe it or not, was Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley which I think was about a man about to be hanged. I have no idea why she liked it but as soon as it came on the radio she would sit enchanted by it. There's not accounting for taste with 4 year olds. : )

  11. I know this song too, and the second verse to Daisy Daisy which most folk don't know exists :) My daughter, back when she was in grade 5, made a powerpoint for her class. In it was a slide where a gay person vomits a rainbow. She didn't know that it was a rather tasteless joke, she just liked someone vomiting a rainbow. Fortunately her teacher had a sense of humour, or at least realised Rue wasn't a budding homophobe and just giggled and moved the conversation on :)


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