Here is a list of reasons why I am uncool.
1. I am almost 34 and I still listen to Triple J. I used to think this was actually cool, but now I realize it is lame. Mainly because I was talking to my Dad on the Australia Day holiday about how I liked all the songs in the top 10 of the Hottest 100, and then we had this conversation;
Me: Hey, so Dad, when you go into school tomorrow you can say to all the kids "So what did you think of the Hottest 100, hey?". You can say to them "I thought Daft Punk would be higher up!". They will think you are so cool!
Dad, witheringly: Yeah, and they will say "What!? Your 30 year old daughter listens to Triple J! Ugh! That is pathetic!"
It's forced me to take a good hard look at myself I can tell you.
2. The other night when I met up with Glamorous Blogging Types Mother Down Under, Housewife in Heels, Faux Fuchsia and Styling You, they were all gussied up in their nice going out clothes. I was wearing my crumpled work outfit and day-old makeup. Also, while they weren't eating and instead sipped champagne delicately, I ordered a pizza and proceeded to eat THE WHOLE THING in front of them. At the time, I thought "What's wrong with that hey? I mean, I am HUNGRY!". It was only afterwards I thought perhaps I should have made a different decision. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I have brought shame to my family.
3. I never have cash in my purse and always have to borrow money off my colleagues at work. Like, ALWAYS. I owe money all about town. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME!
4. I'm a public servant.
5. I'm also a librarian.
6. I like the cut of Alan Kohler's jib. He's a man who can make finance SEX-AY!
7. I like reading fantasy novels.
8. I sometimes wear those flesh coloured little granny stocking sockette thingoes when I wear shoes like ballet flats, and they stick up out the sides and you can see them. NOT COOL MAN.
9. I've never lived overseas. In fact I have only actually lived in Queensland.
10. I never "Keep Calm and Carry On". In fact, I prefer to "Lose my Cool and Chuck a Nana".
11. I wear flesh coloured, waist-high underpants.
There you have it.
Are you cool? Yes? No? Why? Give me your reasons, do.