Monday, March 4, 2013

Faint Praise, and On Being Highbrow.

If you haven't heard already it's been raining cats and dogs in these parts. Still.  Hurrumph. I am thinking of building an ark.  Just for me, mind. Get your hands off it and build your own lifeboat you lazy bums.

P went for a walk in the rain. Squee.


M undertook a craft activity with P.


I know, talk about over achieving [eye roll]. Check out this castle and dragon and sword wielding Princess!

M is always showing me up in this way. So rude.  The first time he looked after P when I had to go to work, I came home and he had made a madeira cake, pruned the lemon tree and tidied the house.  I know! I don't even know what a madeira cake is! Selfish show offy bastard.  As you can imagine I was ENRAGED by this, and rightly so.  I gave him a bloody good telling off.

What's that? Unreasonable? Me? How dare you!

Which brings me to my next point.

You may have noticed over the side there that I have been nominated for the Best Australian Blogs 2013 competition! I know! How awesome!

Some really fantastically nice person nominated me for that.  She is attractive, smells nice, is EXCELLENT at baking cakes, has great dress sense, is hilarious, kind, smart, witty, a good listener, empathetic, creative, well informed, passionate, and just downright delightful.  I think you guys might even know her.  She likes to take the piss out of herself but we all know she is actually a FANTASTICALLY LOVEABLE, WONDERFUL DEVOTED MOTHER AND AN ALL ROUND GREAT PERSON!

Can you guess!?

That's right, it's me! I nominated myself.  What of it?!

I told my mum proudly that I'd put myself up for nomination, and there was a deathly silence on the other end of the phone, until she offered this gem;

"Oh darling that's, ah, good. You know the great thing about your blog is how FREQUENTLY you update! Nearly every day! And you know what, you are really improving, I do think so. Definitely improving!"

Underwhelming, I'd have to say.

I've been damned with faint praise all round the place recently about a variety of things and frankly I don't like it.

I nominated a couple of other blogs too including my ole friend Mumabulous, who was also incredulous that we light hearted mummy bloggers would be considered "highbrow" enough for this salubrious award.

Well frankly I think we are as highbrow as all get out.  If that's what the judges are after then they have totes come to the right place.

I'll give you highbrow! OMG!

Just to prove how FREAKING highbrow mummy bloggers can be, I have written adapted a Shakespearean sonnet, inspired by the episode of Kevin McCloud's man made home I watched last night.

ODE TO KEVIN

Let me not to the marriage of Grand Designs
Admit impediments, a hot tub is a hot tub
Which, altered from a plane engine*
Lies nestled in a pile of mud.
O yes, it is a very fancy robe
From alpaca wool he had it made;
The hands of retro crones have woven**
It for him to wear in his Man Cave.
Kev's not time's fool, nor technology's either,
From his medieval drawbridge deck
He doth watcheth the sheep and weather***
And nary a laptop nor Iphone to check.
   I sigh and yearn to live off the grid
  Just as Kevin, old Smuggy McSmuggington, did.
   

pronounced to rhyme with design, OBVIOUSLY!
** to rhyme with robe. Duh.
*** rhymes with either. Doesn't it?

There you have it. You want highbrow? You got it baby.

Are you high brow? Or is it highbrow? I never know.  Tell me which is right in the comments!

40 comments:

  1. I think your 'highbrows' may need plucking NS - I shall write a little ode to them at some point ;)

    ps.thanks for letting me know about the FB page - still not sure it's quite right but Im too lazy to look at it right now.

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    1. I usually wax them actually.
      The vagaries of FB are pretty lost on me too and don't ask me how I put a button on my blog, I'm lucky I can switch on the computer really.

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  2. Bahahah nice "rhyming" S!!!!! Hahah design -engine!! Funny as ever.

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    1. Thank you Rhia! I hear you have a fab travel blog!

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    2. HAHAHA!! I love the badge to the right that says "Best Australian Blogs 2013 Nominee"!!! LMAO!! hahahah oh classic! I'm not quite sure what type of blog mine will be... methinks there's only so much I can write re: travel as I'm not exactly a massive traveller. It might sort of merge into a fashion/shopping/makeup/travel/profoundly Christian thingamablog ;P

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  3. I think highbrow is one word, but I seldom use it because I prefer 'pretentious' with its superior three syllables. Did you really nominate yourself? I'll second that! Your poetry is outstanding!I'd like to punch Kevin, many times.

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    1. I definitely nominated myself, as if I wouldn't!! I swing between wanting to marry him and wanting to punch him. It's a stressful roller coaster of emotion.

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    2. I must still be on Amsterdam time, because all I read was you saying "I swing"...get under that red light NOW!

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    3. Mind out of the gutter ploise.

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  4. I love me a good sonnet, though a good dirty limerick tickles my fancy more. So if I like poetry, as long as its juvenile filth, does that make me highbrow or lowbrow? 'This the question,indeed....

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    1. Definitely highbrow! Definitely! Speaking of limericks you've given me a new idea for a post... There once was a man called Kevin...

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  5. SNAPS. Who says we can't reinvent, I mean old Shakespeare was so yesterday (no matter how much I love teaching it :)

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    1. Shakespeare is so, um, ELIZABETHAN. I am totally bringing him into the 21st century. Word.

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  6. One word, defo. Kevin is a bevan. Does anyone use that word anymore? He shits me utterly. I do like the houses though so I have to keep watching the idiots that turn leaking old churches into things while they live in caravans for 10 years in the english winter. Because, you know, they have a dream. Wicked sonnet. Shakespeare lives, in you, my friend.

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    1. I love the guy but he is also pretentious. Love, hate, that's how I roll when it comes to Kevin.

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    2. Don't worry. Kim doesn't like AlKohl either ;-)

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    3. What!? There's just no accounting for taste is there?

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  7. Well done on nominating yourself - sometimes it just has to be done! Well done on the over achieving craft!

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  8. Good on you for nominating yourself. I read your blog often and this is the first time I have commented. You are an honest writer and that's what I love about your blog. H x

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    1. Hayley thank you so much for commenting and saying those nice things. I try to be honest, I think it might backfire on me in my real life sometimes when people think I am a bit hopeless, but I am indeed just trying to be honest and have a laugh!

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  9. Sarah - Now I am feeling bad. My comment about not being "highbrow enough" was soley aimed at my own blog. I didn't mean to drag the whole "Mummy blogging" ship down with me. Your ode to Kev Mc deserves should be a classic in its own right.
    PS: I never did say thank you for nominating me. So thankyou. Fass and Hiddles thank you too.

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    1. Don't feel bad!!! I felt bad that you thought you were undeserving. Surely now you see we are all deserving! Mwah.

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  10. thanks for todays laugh! and at least your Mum knows what a blog is!

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    1. SHe does now! For a while she thought it was sort of like having a penpal. I suppose it is a bit...

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  11. Totes highbrow, to be sure. What does highbrow even mean? You've got me wondering now about the origins of it? Darwinian facial structure or the raised brow that goes with looking down one's nose? My husband was so into Kevin and his funny little house. 5 to 10 whole minutes of inspiration about how we might completely change our lives and live off the grid etc. Luckily the phase seems to have passed ;)

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    1. Thank God it has passed for me too, the effort I would have to go to to get this family off the grid would be OUT OF THIS WORLD.

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  12. What does it even mean?? Good point.
    Great adaptation of S'peare - worthy of a nom in my book!

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    1. Ha thank you Robo Mum! I suspect Old Will would be rolling in his grave...

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  13. All very impressive , armourer or whatever a sword maker is , poet, architect your talents know no bounds.

    BTW meant to say ages ago your garden makeover very impressive ,

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    1. Thanks smr, but it was M doing the craft, making me look hopeless!!! The garden does look good but all the rain is making the weeds spring back to life damn them...

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  14. Thanks for the smirk - I say good job nominating yourself :) Tell me how and I'll vote for you. Great wee poem BTW - Em

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    1. Thanks Em! I think voting starts in late March x

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  15. Funny I have always thought of you guys as being very classy and M leaning towards eyebrow - sorry I mean highbrow - even his dragon art is classy.
    xx

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    1. K I will let M know you said that. I'm glad you have this illusion, at least somebody does. Baha.

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  16. Doesn't that just rub the wrong way when the hubby outdoes you when looking after the kids, and has seemed to done it with ease. I put it down to the kids being good for 'other' people. Good job on nominated yourself. Why didn't I think of that?

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    1. I know, it's totally enraging! I actually feel slightly embarrassed that I've nominated myself but I've done it now!

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  17. I lol'd at your mums comments! Leave it to family to bring us back down a peg ;)

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    1. Don't I know it! Thanks for visiting!

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  18. I reckon we all have to talk ourselves up in life because it's very rare others will do it for you :)

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Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

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