So my job at the uni library is weird. I already mentioned that hanging with the youth of today makes me feel old as the hills, but in its defence working here does provide a relatively high level of entertainment. I while away the hours on my late late shift (the library is open until 1am, can you BELIEVE IT!) silently observing the HUMAN INTERACTIONS around me and by God it's fascinating.
Some of the more enlightening observations, in an ANTHROPOLOGICAL sense (just call me Margaret Mead) include the following;
- one of my main tasks involves issuing X box controllers and X box games to students so they can procrasti-game instead of performing legitimate LEARNING TASKS. Frankly, I think that this is what is wrong with the Youth of Today and I occasionally tell them so in no uncertain terms because I FEEL LIKE IT IS MY ROLE. They find me terribly amusing I can tell you. Also they often ask me for technological things like HDMI cords or something and blah blah syncing the controllers blah blah something and everytime they do this I have to ask them to tell me which thingie they are talking about by holding them up so they can point to the correct one. If they can't find a book, I say "Goodness me what is wrong with the youth of today!?" and if they can't use the stapler I say "Goodness me what is wrong with the youth of today!?" and it gives me no end of pleasure. Anyway, back to the observations re X box thingies. I have documented an interesting phenomena that I believe speaks in a profound way to the possibility of INNATE GENDER DIFFERENCE. Basically it has come to my attention that;
a) 9/10 times it is young chaps who borrow X Box games and
b) when they do so it is ALWAYS either Call of Duty or FIFA that they borrow and NOTHING ELSE even though there is an ENTIRE COLLECTION OF GAMES TO CHOOSE FROM and
c) sometimes, if the rare girl borrows a game, it could be any one of ALL OF THE REST OF THE GAMES.
Isn't that interesting? Do you see what I am saying here? Significant, no? I find it so and muse on it endlessly. There are definite ramifications for the nature vs nurture debate in that one, make no mistake my friends. *raises one eyebrow in a meaningful way*
- the university library is a hub of AWKWARD social interaction for PEOPLE IN THEIR EARLY TWENTIES and frankly if I have to witness another conversation such as the following I am basically going to go postal or call shenanigans on them or call their mums or something;
Guy [walking one way, to girl walking past him the other way] Hey! I know you from somewhere!
Girl: Yeah! Yeah....I think I know you from somewhere too!
Guy: [pauses, staring at her meaningfully, leans back and points his finger at her] I know, the beer garden!
Girl: [looks blankly at him]
Guy (less confident now): Ummmmm....yeah it was you wasn't it?
Girl: Ummmm...
Guy [rapidly losing confidence]: Oh...no...I know...the other night...at the casino? You were drunk.
Girl [showing some signs of remembering]: oh yes! Yes! You work at the casino?!
Guy: No. No I don't work at the casino. Remember, we were all "I go to [insert uni name here]", and
"Hey me too!", and then we came back here, and then...
Girl: Oh yeah, yeah, i remember you, how are you?
Guy: Good.
At this point I had to retreat back into the returns area because OMG THE AWKWARD MAKE IT STOP OMG.
- There are also PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION and I CANNOT HANDLE IT MAN I AM NOT EUROPEAN THIS IS AUSTRALIA I AM UPTIGHT AND IN MY 30s AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR YOUTHFUL LUSTY WAYS THANK YOU VERY MUCH I JUST WANT A WARM BATH AND A HOT WATER BOTTLE.
I need two new signs made for the counter top - one is to read "Get a room alley cats!" and the other will state that the lobby area is a "Social awkwardness free zone".
- all the KIDS TODAY still smoke. It makes me think about smoking and then I start wanting to take it up. It becomes quite an attractive prospect. I consider the FOR argument for my taking up cigarettes to include the following points;
a) it would make me thin
b) it's not like I'm 14 years old, so I wouldn't be smoking for as long and consequently I would already be old and decrepit by the time it started to kill me, therefore it is totally not that bad
c) I would look glamorous like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction
Obviously the AGAINST argument is basically;
a) it's smoking you idiot!
In conclusion, kids today eh? *shakes head knowingly, raises eyebrows, tsks meaningfully*
Ah the library..I miss the library. We have a bazillion dollars in late fees though and all of the workers are little old ladies so unfortunately the cleavage angle didn't work. Soooo no library for us.
ReplyDeleteOh they are HARDCORE up there, they don't do late fees down this way THANK GOD or I would be BANKRUPTED and BLACKLISTED and would bring shame to my family and my profession.
DeleteOne minute late at my library and yes theres a text ! no mucking around in NSW
DeleteI've never been as thin again as I was when I smoked. True Story! But sadly it kills you x
ReplyDeleteSuch a bloody shame...
DeleteI once walked in on two students have sex in the toilets at one of the libraries where I worked, back in the day. Seriously kids, libraries aren't sexy places.
ReplyDeleteGood grief! That would give me conniptions indeed!
DeleteI can't believe people still smoke! Don't they know? How has that anti-smoking campaign not won yet?
ReplyDeleteI worry that my lovely, cuddly toddler boy will grow up to be an awkward Uni boy who plays too many video games and can't speak to members of the opposite sex normally…and doesn't laugh politely when "strange old librarians" gently chastise him. Please study these creatures further and let me know how I might guide him so he avoids this fate.
I think it's somewhat inevitable. They are mostly nice seeming boys really...it's the awkwardness of the early 20s I tell you!
DeleteAh Margaret, it must really be an eye-opener! Those computer games are what my nerd computer gamer husband used to play years ago before the kids and I sucked all his hobbies out of him! Heaps of students still smoke, didn't know that, how can they afford it? x
ReplyDeleteI know! Heaps do! It was quite shocking to me really...
DeletePhew, nearly took up smoking there until I got to the AGAINST argument ... Miss Mac HATES me right now because I wont let her first bleach her hair and then dye it pale turquoise - nothing to do with this post I know but I just needed to off load ...
ReplyDeleteYou are the worst! So unreasonable...poor miss mac...
DeleteHeh heh heh.... Can't use a stapler. So many LOLs here.
ReplyDeleteAnd OMG I HAVEN'T SMOKED IN FOUR YEARS BUT I WANT A CIGARETTE SO BAD RIGHT NOW.
I've never smoked and by God I could go a ciggie tho!
DeleteHa Ha. My husband and I had some of our first 'dates' at the uni library!
ReplyDeleteLook M and I met in the library! Sort of. It's a hotbed of passion.
Deletenone of the above is news to me, sorry to say ...I am ashamed to say i still struggle with the evil weed, (legal one that is )
ReplyDeleteI live near UNSW not only all night library but the Maccas down the road from UNWS is open 24 hrs, full of students at any time
On the good news side , thankfully my son who is 22 does not smoke
Although I've enjoyed young people, at 82 I feel I perhaps a wee bit too old to appreciate them as I once did.
ReplyDeletePhil and I gave up smoking back in 1970 (it would have killed him if I'd not made the first move to stop..and it was cold turkey too), and a) it doesn't make you lose weight; b) even though you're older than those kids you speak of it it is still bad for your health and c) no matter how they try to make it look glamarous in films women, on the whole, do not look sexy when they smoke, especially when you see them with a fag hanging on their lips so please, my friend, do refrain for the temptation to take up the evil weed.
It seems every time I go to see my son, I eventually end up staring at a screen with a character from GTA running, or driving a stolen car or shooting someone. 'oh the youth of today' tsk tsk tsk.
ReplyDeleteHow I could go for a suck of a cancer stick right now. Better not.