A dead giveaway.

Hello loyal fans.

If you are one of my dedicated Facebook groupies, you might have noticed that I have finally cracked the 100 fan mark!

I know!  FAMOUS!!!

Actually I think it is 105 likers.

I want to say THANK YOU so much to everyone who wastes time reading this blog.  Truly, my whole life I've thought how much I'd love to be a writer.  Even as a kid I used to write stuff.
Now apparently I have a captive audience and I couldn't be happier. I know it's only me writing silly crap but I'm loving it sick.

Good work internetz.

Now, something that blogging types do occasionally is indulge in a little giveaway madness! Or as I like to call it, buying friends!  I am not averse to a little bit of bribery so I thought I'd get involved.  I did say a while back that if I got to 100 likes, I'd "do something nice".
Well here it is! Slapdash Mama's very first giveaway.

So I guess the theory would usually be that if you had a really awesome prize and made it pretty easy to enter, new readers would hear of this exciting competition and would flock to your blog en masse! And you would have a million new fans!

Unfortunately I am rather a nobody in this business and am not exactly inundated with gifts and freebies, so I have put together my own rather meagre prize pack, and am correspondingly going to make it SUPER HARD AND COMPLEX to enter!  Because it is my blog and I can if I want to.

Feast your eyes on the generous prizes I have prepared for you!

I got these cool paper straws from Woolies.  If you win, I will send them to you.  You too can jazz up your kid's drink by shoving a straw in it.  Creates instant carnival atmosphere!!!!

You will also get ONE ONLY of these childrens books.  B was accidentally gifted with the same book twice for his birthday, so that makes you guys the WINNERS right there! I am generously going to send one to you if you win this giveaway.  Regifting for the win!  I have to add here that after reading this book, I don't rate it highly.  Still, what's free is cheap, right guys??

Last but not least, you will recieve this UNOPENED packet of cupcake papers from IKEA that I bought and didn't use at Christmas.  Because, you know, the whole cake theme I've got going on at the moment.  Or cake fail theme, if you will.

Another angle of the same aforementioned cupcake thingoes.

SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT!? Who wouldn't want to win! I might even autograph them. I'll think about it.

To enter, you must complete the following challenges.

1.  Like me on FB, or follow the blog with the Google blogger thingo on the sidebar, whichever you prefer.

2.  And now this is the hard part.  Speaking of my youthful writing projects, I recently discovered the first paragraph of an unfinished short story I started when I was maybe 14 or so.  It's like a kind of bodice ripper romance Mills and Boon mixed with a Gothic novel type thing. I have virtually no memory of writing it.  Anyway I never got around to penning more than this...

     A piercing shriek echoed through the dank corridors of the musty dungeon.  As the warden laughed evilly, he threw the lifeless form of Letitia Bouvier to the ground of the filthy, slime-ridden cell.  Her sodden dress clung to her body, drenched with her own blood.  The warden jangled the cell keys in his pocket, gave Letitia's still, pitiful body a last kick, and made his way to the door.
     "No!" An unrecognisable form threw himself against the bars of his cell.  The warden stopped in his tracks.  Turning round to stare coldly at the man, he sneered, "You'd better watch your step, Sir Gulliver.  The Baron can arrange special treatment for you too if you wish."  He threw back his head and laughed.
     Long after the warden had left, the evil laugh still echoed in Sir Gulliver's head.  As he stared at Letitia's pathetic body, he muttered under his breath, "Letitia will be avenged, I swear it on my brave father's grace."
     His tangled hair covered his distinctively aristocratic features, for he was a man of exquisite parentage, betrothed to the lovely Letitia....

Actually now that I read it again it seems almost like a precurser to the Game of Thrones books.  Also, how funny is it that I used the name Bouvier!?  Pretty funny.

No matter.

Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to tell me in 50 words or less, HOW DOES THIS STORY END?

I know it hasn't got a middle part either.  Just cut to the chase and give me the last few sentences.  Humour me.

THE BEST ENTRY WILL WIN MY UNDYING LOVE AND THE AMAZING PREVIOUSLY DESCRIBED PRIZE PACK!!!!!

I will post it to you and everything.

I will reveal the winner........probably on the weekend.

Get writing dudes!  I just know I will be inundated with entries.  Post them in the comments or email them to me at slapdashmama@gmail.com.

Ciao!