Friday, February 22, 2013

The really, really, really Slapdash report.

This is an update from the front line.

I am reporting a really bloody sick baby, a toddler with a black eye, constant rain and an AWOL cleaning lady.  This has resulted in dangerously high levels of unwashed laundry, dangerously low levels of sleep and a correspondingly low level of engagement with the outside world, rendering the Slapdash Report even more inaccurate and dangerously  anecdotal than ever before.

Your trusty reporter snuggling said sick baby.

There's casualties left, right and centre, citizens.


For my previous reports go here.

Anyway. I promised to deliver every Friday so here it is. Nobody can say I'm unreliable.  The news waits for no stressed out mummy.

-  Australian swimming team have been taking Stillnox and exhibiting dodgy behaviour.  Drugs in sport, eh? How novel. Tut tut.

-  The Greens party have got the huff with the Labour government in a big way over the mining tax not bringing in as much dough as they promised. So the Greens won't sit with Labour at Little Lunch any more and are hanging out in the school library. Or something.

-  Gillard is cross with the states about how they spend their health budgets.  So she's threatening to cut off their pocket money.  But this is deadset NOT blame shifting.  Nope. Not at all.

-  Everyone watches My Kitchen Rules except me. So out of touch.

-  Something something blah blah leadership debate Labour party Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd.

Can't be bothered thinking of anything else.

Today started off ok when I dragged the sick baby out with me to P's new dancing lessons but has progressively degenerated.  I woke up this morning and said "I'm thinking of going a month without sugar!", and by the end of the day I'd had a trip to the doctor, the pharmacist, watched the baby vomit up his whole dinner plus a whole tummy full of snotty mucus and then try and eat it again like a dog, and I'd eaten a whole packet of these little bastards.

Red frogs, for the uneducated amongst you.

Exhausting to the max.

I'm in the freaking trenches over here people and it ain't pretty.  It's like an episode of MASH but without the comic relief of Radar's teddy bear and Klinger's frocks. Just helicopters full of dead soldiers.

OK maybe not that bad. But still bad.

Over and out.





28 comments:

  1. Oh god, you said mucus - I'm dry heaving in sympathy!

    My dog once ate a pile of vomit when he was on steroids (the vet had warned me it would increase his appetite!) and I nearly gave him another pile to devour when I saw him doing it.

    Hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.

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    1. Oh god the horror of.the.vomit eating dog. Thanks for.your comment Sarah xx

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  2. Pretty accurate to what my week has been like. Both myself and my two littles ones sick with colds and coughs. Sleepless nights, coughing fits oh and the added joys of night terrors. I'd keep going on, buying to tired lol.

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    1. Oh noes :-(
      Trudie do u live in the nth GC? We should meet up one day.

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  3. Oh God! Sounds like a perfect nightmare. Poor babies! As long as nobody calls social services, you'll be ok. I mean, I don't even know their number! Hope baby gets well soon. Couldn't you at least glue some glitter on that shiner?

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    1. Yes maybe I should, it would jazz it up a bit. Here's hoping he gets better although of course I can hear P coughing in her bedroom now. Another man down!!

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  4. Wow what a week :(
    Hope your little ones are feeling better soon and your news wrap was awesome btw :)

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    1. Thanks Rebecca. Thank.you for.visiting!

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  5. I wish I coud throw you a life line , execept the usual platitudes.

    If all you resort to are those sweets you're doing really well.

    Sincerley hope your son feels better soon and you too of course

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    1. Thank you smr. I think he is probably on the mend but slowly. x

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  6. I didn't thnk it was possible but you may have had a worse week than I did!! Hope next weeks report is better!!

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    1. Thanks Ann...hope you have a better week too x

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  7. Hope your baby is feeling better. Love your weekly A Current Affairs updates- save me from reading the news x

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  8. Well hello doppleganger! I too dragged my sick child along to Miss 3's dance class this week before realising just how sick she was. I managed to be covered in all manner of bodily fluids and excretions by the end of the day. Though it never really ended as it was another sleepless night. The only difference is I wasn't silly enough to try and give up my treats!

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    1. How funny! What a coincidence! Haha yes we are still having disturbed nights. I think he's forgotten how to sleep since he got sick :-(

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  9. Yes, this is politics in general I feel "Something something blah blah", not just the leadership debate ;-)

    Hope you have a lovely weekend!

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    1. It is all a bit disillusioning, the ole political landscape. At least we can have a laugh I guess x

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  10. We are sick over here too...one snotty toddler and one snotty mom.
    Thank goodness we haven't had any vomiting...yet.

    As for MKR, I don't watch it either.
    I do however watch The Block!

    I hope that you all are feeling better.
    As for the no sugar thing...everything in moderation I say...and when you are in the trenches, anything goes!

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    1. Looking after a sick kid when you are sick yourself is the pits. Thank you v much for visiting Caitlin!

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  11. That is all just shitty macshitballs. Especially the part about MKR. No, seriously, hope everyone mends very soon. Too much snot and mucus always made my second spew. It's the pits. It's Lionel Richie, sheets all night long. You must be sleep-deprived- quit sugar!? Are you DERANGED?? DON'T DO IT. For the love of GOd woman, get some sleep before you make anymore rash decisions.

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  12. Bloody green frogs, will get you every time!!! I hope this week is better. I'm heading in to my week with 2 out of 3 sick with colds, coughs, etc, BOO :( Em xx

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    1. Hope your kiddies get better stat Em!!

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  13. Yes it was definitely snot spews. Blurrghhhhh. Don't worry K, I've come to my senses on the sugar issue. Madness! total madness!!

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  14. Ugh! Sounds tough! And that eye! Ouch! Poor sweetheart!
    I haven't been watching MKR either. Another one who's totally out of it!

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  15. reading this while watching MKR and now I want red frogs.

    Damn you.

    xx

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    Replies
    1. Sorry. They are more-ish. I want some now too. Gah.

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Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

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