Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Back to work at the Dream Factory, where Dreams are, um, Made. In the Factory.

Hello dashers. Before I get ranting I want to say HELLO to you all, I know you are out there. Please, if you are reading, feel free to follow along by liking the Slapdash Mama Facebook page or joining up with that Blogger followers thingamajig. And ploise comment, I love to hear from you.  Feels less like I'm talking to myself.  Don't be shy!  When I'm really rich and famous, you'll be able to say "I liked her WAY BACK WHEN SHE WAS KEEPING IT REAL, BEFORE SHE GOT UP HERSELF".

So I guess you are all on the edge of your seats waiting for my return to the Dream Factory story.

Thanks N, husband of Cousin B, for your amusing reference to my erstwhile place of work as the Dream Factory. It shall henceforth be known as this. From hence. Forth. Um, from now.

Well as is usual for these sorts of things it was quite the anticlimax.

M took yesterday and today off work to make sure Baby B had short days, just to ease him into the whole daycare thing.

Turns out B has so far taken to it like a duck to water. Yay! Sort of. Frankly I feel a bit shocked he was so chilled out about the whole thing. I mean, didn't he miss me AT ALL!!!??? Weird. The daycare ladies were apparently all very impressed with his relaxed attitude. This has actually freaked me out more than if he had screamed and cried. I guess P was more or less the same, pretty ok with the daycare situ from day one. Are they really that desperate to get away from me, Mommy Dearest? I mean, I only make P practice the piano 6 days a week and only for 2 hours a day, that is hardcore peanuts if she want to MAKE IT ON THE CONCERT CIRCUIT, and frankly who wouldn't want to? She'll thank me one day.

Back to daycare though. P has been a bit sad because she's moved up to the big kindy room and it turns out her little friend S has moved away and won't be coming back to kindy. P tried to tell me this a few times and I kept saying "No, no darling that's not right, she must be on holidays still" but actually she isn't, she's gone. I am really sad that no one thought to tell me that this was happening, P and S were inseparable. When we finally realised what had happened, I had tears in my eyes! P hasn't really cried but seems so lost which is unlike her. Gah. The start of the heartbreaking friendship sagas of school.

I just read that paragraph back to myself and it comes off like the confusing rundown of an episode of Heartbreak High using only people's initials. Too bad, my blog, my rambling prose.

So that's the deal with daycare.

As for the Dream Factory return, I was VERY NERVOUS on the drive in.  I've totally lost my chops regarding suitable work attire so wore the same outfit I wore to the opera that time. Who knows if that was appropriate but part of me doesn't really care any more anyway.  

Anyway so when I did end up getting there I realised more or less that it's the same shit, different year. Sorta. Kinda.

Highlights from the first day include - 

  • Trying to swipe myself into the carpark but my pass doesn't work.  No worries.  They let me in anyway. What a relief.
  • Trying to swipe myself into the building but my pass doesn't work. Oh that's right, dur. No worries. They let me in anyway. Guh.
  • Turning up to the HR office only to be told that I need to go and see my section manager who was definitely in that day. Shuh. Whatever.
  • Going up to said manager's office only to be told he's away on holidays still. Whatever.
  • Wandering back to the office that used to be mine, and will apparently be again, only there's something missing. Whatever.
I must have been a very naughty, naughty girl. Bad girl! In the corner! NO DESK FOR YOU! I'm thinking about asking them to put a treadmill in instead.

  • Finding my direct supervisor who gives me a form to sign to get my internet/computer access back.  I sign it. It's the wrong one. Admin assistant gets the right one. I sign it. Take it to IT. They look blankly at me and then I wander off again. 
  • I ask supervisor about the whole NO DESK, PHONE OR COMPUTER issue.  He wanders around with me and we find a temporary possie in my work friend A's office so that's ok.
  • I turn computer on, still no access. Have meeting with supervisor and other staff where he gives me jobs to do despite NO COMPUTER ETC yadda yadda. [5 hours elapse. I roam the corridors greeting my former colleagues and vaguing out a bit]. IT calls. Internet now working. Shuh. Whatever. Home time now.

 So, you get the picture.  I was totally feeling the love.  I don't think.

Anyway it was great to see some of my old comrades and we chewed the fat about, you know, office politics (urghhhhhh) and so forth. Hello those of you who read this blog xx

The crap that goes down at my work is totally unbelievable and would make the most awesome, hilarious and outrageous blog ever but the Dream Factory is a place of secrecy and intrigue and we are all held in thrall to that frightening document that is the CODE OF CONDUCT. Otherwise I would be blabbing that shit out on this blog quicker than you could say DEFAMATION!

So there you have it.

I'm sure it was as exciting to read as it was to live.

Anyone else really valued and respected at their workplace? Are you on the road to success? Or are you tasting the BITTERNESS OF DEFEAT? Do tell.

See you round, chaps.

EDITED TO ADD - I just reached 7000 page views! Cool. As you were. EDITED AGAIN - to take out some unnecessary details where I sounded a bit too cross about P's daycare stuff.


  1. Don't forget to brandish a few wire coat hangers at the kids! I managed to convince the Big Cheeses that we all needed to start imbibing alcohol at 4.30pm every Friday. I know, I should work for the United Nations!

    1. Only every Friday? Bah! You need to AIM HIGHER!

  2. The Hearbreak High comment made me chortle. This has happened to my children a few times over the years, friends suddenly leaving, and it is always painful. Luckily they always have a few friends around, but they are sentimental little souls, like their mother and it does hurt :(

    Work sounds, erm, interesting. My friend used to refer to her place of employment as Bleak House :D Just noticed my name in your sidebar - many thanks :) Been meaning to update my sidebar/blogs so will try to remember to do this tomorrow. And now, to bed!

    1. Haha, Bleak House, OMG, I wish I'd thought of that it would be.perfect!!! Work is....urrrgghhhhh...can't even express it, at least I'm an old hand, if I was new I'd be panicking.
      P is even.sadder as the week goes on, I feel so too, how am I going to survive all her teenage emotional turmoil??!!
      No worries about blog roll, I am so happy to have found yours, I love it.

  3. Yeah well. work is work still.... comforting things dont change, though wish I could put your humorous spin on things.

    I felt so sad for you say another childhood (well life really) milestone

    1. P is so sad. I'm finding it harder than her because I feel her pain! Just so sad and sudden. yes, good preparation for life really.

  4. Yay 7000 so much closer to your goal of world domination! Must be all that high brow intellectual stimulation you are providing. K xxoo

  5. Welcome back to the dream factory- no desk, phone, computer- sounds like a holiday. All the best with getting your treadmill and congratulations on your 7000 views!

    1. Thank you! Yes it was quite relaxing really,bhaha!!

  6. damn that code of conduct, eh? I have signed many many documents swearing that I will not divulge the secrets of my workplace on fear of death by japanese water torture and jail with no deodorant.

    Yet they still made me wait 3 weeks for access to the photocopier and printer. Same thing really.

    Nothing screams WELCOME BACK like nothing organised.

    1. No deoderant, that is a freaking human rights abuse! Yeah if I hadn't worked there for years.I might have been surprised, as it is I was somewhat amused. My respect for the.code of conduct has also diminished over the years I'm afraid. I just don't want to get my arse sued or sacked. Again. Ahahaha.

  7. Oh how terrible they didn't tell you about P's little friend. That's sad. Hopefully she'll be ok.
    Your first day back at work sounds, um, interesting! I had a good giggle though, so thanks for that! :)

    1. Thanks Tracey. Yes I am still sad about the little friend issue. Poor P. Thanks for reading!!

  8. I like that treadmill-in-lieu-of-actual-office-equipment concept. Surely you could read (or something) while jogging, so it's totally justifiable. The whole work/life daycare/dayjob balance is so complicated eh? Great post.

    1. Yes I think I am onto something with the treadmill concept. Yes the balance is so hard to get right! I am NOT going to get stressed about work ever again I've decided. Life is too short.


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