Sunday, January 27, 2013

Slapdash-issima.


Food, glorious food! La, lalala, custard! Food, glorious food! Something, ya dada, mustard!

I keep thinking of things to add to the litany of my areas of excellence as devised in this earlier blog post.  Something I left off the list was my particular talent for remembering song lyrics. Mind like a steal trap, people.


Anyway loyal readers, I write to you this afternoon from an undisclosed location, deep in the hills, where I have retreated to my bunker with a stockpile of hoarded tinned goods and bottled water*. The apocalyptic weather has everybody panicking. Rain, wind, tornadoes! The end of the world is surely nigh.  What's a girl to do in this weather but comfort cook and eat for Australia?

Despite all of my personal deficiencies, my friends, it is true that when the planets are aligned and the spirit (or a spirit as the case may be) moves me, I can achieve greatness.

Yesterday, I felt the spirit of Peg Bundy, my erstwhile Muse, leave my body, to be replaced by none other than the spirit of infamous cookery sexpot Nigella Lawson. I could tell it was her because I developed a sort of Nigella induced Tourettes condition. I was overcome with the urge to shout out random things like 'unctuous!' and 'luscious!' and 'full fat, added salt, midnight snack, motherfuckers!' in between barking like a dog and licking food suggestively off my fingers and tossing my chestnut main like a spirited filly.


I'm sure you will agree the likeness is quite striking.






I got my longsuffering husband M to take these pics while I was getting all Nigella on everyone's arses. I'm not sure that he's really caught the "Slapdash Mama" vision just yet but full marks to him for indulging me.

So, the reason I've got that food song in my head, and even taking into consideration my ambivalence (tending towards downright hostility)  to Australia Day jingoism, is that I do enjoy any chance I get to make (and eat) seasonally appropriate foodstuffs.

So, dear reader, I made lamingtons. This was no mean feat because it involves making a SPONGE CAKE which I actually hadn't ever done before.  Even though I was channelling Nigella, I actually used a Stephanie Alexander recipe.  But I reckon Nigella would be down with that shizz because she's always stealing borrowing other people's recipes anyway.  And I've got this kind of weird idea that celebrities are all friends, constantly dropping into each other's houses and chewing the fat over a few spritzers and a bowl of chips, so I'm sure they know each other and are totes bffs.


The aforementioned lamingtons.  VERY NICE thank you very much.  A feather-light sponge soaked in the requisite amount of chocolate icing, then rolled in the perfect amount of coconut. I think even a rusted on CWA member would have liked these babies.

And then, just for good measure, I rustled up a bit of balsamic vinegar marinaded butterflied lamb for dinner. 


It was good.  Very good.  Nigella, you know your stuff.

 Look, don't be jealous, not everyone can be as talented as I am.  Women want to be me, men want to be with me. And eat my lamb.  What can I say?

Are you possessed by any spirits? Like making seasonal treats? Have you caught my vision? If so, please return it at once!

Don't get washed away fellow Queenslanders.

Mwah.


*I may or may not actually be lying about this.

EDITED TO ADD: I just reached 10000 views! Exciting. Also am linking up with Alicia from One Mother Hen's Open Slather! Still haven't worked out buttons. Urgh.

32 comments:

  1. Haven't read it yet, but the photos have me laughing way out loud! Best yet!

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    1. Thank you R! Hope your place is coping ok what with the wind and the rain and whatnot.

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  2. Holy moly. You have penned some funny posts before but this is by far my favourite, those photos are utterly hilarious!!!!!! I have no idea how you managed to keep such a straight face for them. Too funny. A xx

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    1. believe me A there was a goodly amount of giggling going in. And eye rolling from M.

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  3. Slap Dash and Nigella - separated at birth? And yes I would be happy to eat your lamb.

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  4. What a wonderful display of voluptuous Domestic goddess artistry! Twins, I say. Twins!

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  5. Twins you are! love the careless hairtoss/disguise

    Iam on tenterhooks did you get the steam mop?

    raining down here now ..

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  6. No steam mop yet, cyclonic conditions up here have prevented me leaving the house! We have a tree down in our back yard! I will have to get one this week my feet are sticking to the floor x

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  7. Nice work! My culinary efforts on Australia Day involved inviting friends around for a BBQ, only to run out of gas! Ooops!

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    1. Oh no! How very un-Australian of you, running out of gas, you could have had a full scale RIOT on your hands!!

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  8. Very funny channelling of Nigella, good on your husband for taking the photos. All in good fun! I was very slack this Australia Day and didn't get my aussie on at all. Love the look of your lamb! 10000 is just a bit exciting isn't it ;)

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    1. Thanks! Yes I thought 10000 was exciting!

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  9. Thanks for the giggle! Though why anybody would make lamingtons is beyond me. That's what Woolies and Coles are for!

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    1. Haha! We bought some from Woolies today...they definitely weren't as nice as my lovingly prepared handmade numbers. Convenient though and that is IMPORTANT!

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  10. I am TOTES impressed. And i like what you've done with your hair. Very slapella. I scraped new parenting barrel lows last night. Fed little A her first ever Easy Mac - i swore I'd never. 4 years is never, right? It was late. I added veggies. So I'm excused. Yes?

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    1. Definitely excused!! That is a perfectly acceptable slapdash meal. Trust me, I would know.

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  11. Congratulations on the views and on the lamingtons and the whole channeling Nigella business. Very impressed on all fronts.

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    1. Ha! Thank you. It was one way to spend a wet/cyclonic weekend...

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  12. All you really need now is the cocktail of drugs old Nigella takes just before filming commences! And now 26 followers!

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    1. Yes! I need in on that drug cocktail indeed. Yes 26 followers, practically ruling the internets.

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  13. Love the photos....well done on hitting 10,000 xo
    (It's Helen)

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    1. Thanks Helen! Hope you survived the first day at school for H!

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  14. I love Nigella! She OWNS her food words "scrumptious luscious plumptious chickens" indeed! Although I think some of your versions were even better ... bahahahaha!

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    1. She does own her words doesn't she!? Unlike me, I just noticed I wrote "mind like a steal trap" instead of "steel trap". Durrrrr....

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  15. Oh so funny. Have a very vivid image of m rolling his eyes while taking pics. Good job on the baking. Looks very yum and very Nigella of course K xxoo

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  16. LOL! Your hubby's a good sport, isn't he??
    OMG...Lamb and lamingtons...when are you inviting me over??

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    1. You are welcome any time Grace! Swing by when you are in this part of the world.

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  17. Best post yet! Luf the pics (and laughing at you n M laughing when you took them). Btw super impressed by your aus day cooking fest. xx

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    1. Thank you. I hear you have an amusing blog of.your own now hehe.

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Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

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