Friday, January 4, 2013

Stye. A complaint, in verse.

I have a stye,
upon my eye.
I wail and cry,
damn you stye!
I fuss and I sigh,
and I wonder why
they call it a stye?
Is it something to do with pigs?
But that don't fly, and
I cannot lie.
It looks basically like a pimple on my eye-

Fuck it hurts.

The end.


  1. It looks sore, that clogged pore,
    It looks mean, you need some cream.
    Keep hidden from view, until you look new.

  2. Jesus, I'm bowing before you - it's like you're the re-incarnation of Shakespeare! Have you started writing sonnets to M? Does Australia have a Poet laureate? Am I more annoying than the stye?

    1. I know, right! When will my talents get the recognition they deserve? When!!???

  3. Ok sounds weird but get your best gold wedding ring the higher the gold content the better but my old 9carat or whatever it is did just fine, sterilize it in boiling water then rub it gently on the infected area I know I know sounds rather a strange thing to do but go on do it - sweet relief I promise within oh say half an hour to an hour of doing this. Also soak a cotton circle thingy in hot water as hot as u can handle and hold it to the eye. But really the gold ring is even better. Repeat several times a day especially before bed and do not rub the eye even though it hurts like bugery and sweet Jesus you want to. It just makes them worse

    1. Michele I am doing this asap. it hurts like hell! The hairdresser also told me this so it must be true!!!

  4. I buy a cream when this happens, I think it's called Chlorasig. Curious as to whether the ring thingy worked?

    1. Alison I think it worked! Well, I rubbed the ring onto it a couple of times and it was better by the next afternoon. Not particularly scientific, but there you have it!


Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

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