Monday, December 3, 2012

Cat on a hot tin apricot ball. Heat. Hotness. Humidity. Cheerful stuff.

It's so hoooottttt. It's weather like this that makes me glad we don't have ceiling fans or air conditioning. Oh, whoops, sorry, what I meant to say is that it's weather like this that ENRAGES ME BEYOND BELIEF because it reminds me that we don't have ceiling fans or air con.

In today's world of modern conveniences, whenever I tell people we don't have these things they look at me with a mixture of pity and fear. Fear, because obviously anyone who hasn't prioritized aircon when building a new house is automatically a sandwich short of a picnic and such a loonie that they probably stockpile canned food and bottled water in preparation for the apocalypse and should be avoided lest the crazy proves to be contagious.  Oh well, I guess if I can suffer through last summer whilst eleventy months pregnant and working from home in our study, which is undoubtedly the hottest room in the house with only a pedestal fan, a wet washer and a bucket of iced water to keep me cool then I can survive this summer too.

Anyway, here's some cheerful things from the last week to distract from the sound of my thighs rubbing together as I wander around the house in a sort of langurous haze. I'm beginning to regret my no booze during the week rule as I could murder a G&T right now*.

- P and I made festive apricot balls and I didn't eat the whole batch myself. I even froze some of them to be defrosted only in the event of emergency/having company, whichever comes first. I mean I ate a LOT of them but not ALL of them, which is a giant leap for me**.

We've got balls.  P's such a ballsy little thing.  We really know how to grab life by the balls.  And so forth with the innuendo.

- When P woke up this morning she heard B calling out so she went into his room and they played together for a good 5 minutes. Warmed the cockles of me heart, although that could have just been sweat dripping down my cleavage, it's hard to say.

- I ate some delicious cherries

- We had a great weekend despite witnessing some bogan biffo

Having a picnic up the hills.

She's the king of the world!

- M and I had a date at Ikea where we bought a sofa bed and a sewing table for me. So now we will finally be able to transform the spare room into a baby's room. Only took almost 10 months. And I might finally actually learn to use the sewing machine I bought over five years ago. Also, at Ikea, although I was sorely tempted, I did not, I repeat, did not eat anything at the cafe, not even a hotdog. And I didn't buy my bodyweight in Scandinavian chocolate either. Winning. Now next step is to actually assemble the furniture. That might take us another 6 months.

M aka Goldilocks trying out the sofa bed. It was juuusst right.  

A man and his chair.

- I didn't lose weight, but I didn't put any on either.

- B started crawling. Clever little tacker.

B about to speed off into the sunset.

- I hit the jackpot when I discovered that my favourite two dollar crap shop does a mean line in Christmas decorations,  so was able to jolly the house up even more, on the cheap.

Faux garland. Don't worry I won't light the candles lest the synthetic berries spontaneously combust.

Ghastly, isn't it? And yet strangely mesmerising...

Faux Christmas plants.

Faux berry arrangement and gussied up Christmas candle, to greet roaming Jehovah's Witnesses as they knock on the door.

Any nice things happen to you this week? Any tips on chafing prevention? Anyone else suspect they need to go back on the calm the fuck down pills like I do?
Oh, and today's Darecember. Scarves. Too. Freaking. Hot. Took it off immediately
*Edited to add, it is pouring rain as I finish writing. Thank the Lord.
**edited to add - I have actually, now. Eaten them all, that is. Goddammit. Bugger bum poo tit, as my ladylike mother would say. Just swear already, mum! Your seemingly tame version actually manages to sound ruder than real swears do.


  1. You mean to say you have access to those magic pills? Just have the G&T, with a ton of ice - much nicer. Works for me!

    1. Ha! Perhaps you are right! It could be food and.booze deprivation related glumness.

  2. Chafing - I swear by The Pharmacist's harcore stink-proof deodorant. It's Rexona, and is one of those twist up cream thingies. I am obviously assuming that you were genuinely asking for anti-chafing solutions; if not, I've made myself look a bit of a tit.

    Apricot balls look smashing.

    1. Z, great advice! You need never worry about looking like a tit in my company. Haven't you noticed I have a whole blog that makes me look like a tit!!??

  3. I know you were joking, but a few months ago I had a minor surgical procedure and the dr gave me a real calm the eff down tablet beforehand. I didn't actually realise how naturally anxious I am until I was, well, medically relaxed. Decided that I'd better stick to G&Ts too... I've taken to using posh gin... the price encourages me to be more restrained when I pour.

    1. Silk slippers, I'm only half joking, calm the eff down pills and I are old friends! I only realized how truly awful I felt when I finally took them and felt so much better! Worst hottest day ever here so might be breaking the no booze rule any minute now...


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