Monday, December 31, 2012

Everyone's doing New Year posts and I felt left out, so here's mine.

At this time of year we are called upon to farewell the old year, casting our eyes over the past 12 months with a cheerful wave and a "Those were the days of our lives!" or a "Thanks for the memories 2012 you crazy kid you!", or even a big old "Fuck you 2012 you sorry bastard!" depending on your mood.  And so, as we look forward to 2013 and send 2012 into the annals of history, I am naturally moved to drag out the old whiteboard and pens, the spreadsheets, manila folders, laptop, powerpoint display and laser pointers needed to update that ole Slapdash Family Ten Year Plan aka How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Hahahahhahhhhaaaa!  Oh dearie me! Hahahahaaaaaaa...haaa...haaaha...ha. Ha. Ahem. [Clears throat, wipes tears away, adjusts monacle].

As if!  10 year plan! Bahahaha. Oh there I go, I'm off again. Ahahahahahaaaaa...ha. Hahaha. Sniff. Snort.  Ahem.

Look, it's probably actually not a bad idea, you know. Don't listen to me.  And although I don't think I could ever quite get the wherewithall to do a ten year plan, as each New Year rolls round I do have the compunction to get some Resolutions going on.

This year I'm a bit stuck, I don't really know how I'm approaching it, thematically speaking, or what my real FOCUS should be.

I've kind of got two lists.  One of them is sort of vaguely along these lines -

1.  Be better at stuff
2.  Be more awesome at things
3.  Be less not awesome at junk
4.  Be thinner
5.  Do cool shit
6.  Write a ten year plan
7.  Make tonnes of money
8.  Change everything about myself that isn't awesome
9.  Be more organised
10. Be less disorganised
11.  Win at LIFE!
12.  Make my own bread!
12. Go HARD or go HOME!

You get the drift.

The other one is more along these lines -

1.  Love me for me
2.  Be ok with myself
3.  Live in the moment
4.  Embrace the now
5.  Moment in the live
6.  Let go and breathe
7. Letting go and breathing I am
8. Enjoy the small things
9. Insert inspirational quote here
10. I've been to paradise but I've never been to meeeee....
11.  Something something thankfulness something gratitude something something blah blah

Frankly both lists seem like a lot of trouble and I have a sneaking, sneaky sneakity sneak old suspicion I'm going to end up DOING THE SAME SHIT I DID LAST YEAR!

Here's cheers to 2013 anyway dear readers.  May all your resolutions, no matter how TOTALLY UNATTAINABLE THEY BE, come trueeeee!  You've all had a headstart already, because let it be known that just by reading my blog, you are statistically more likely to live longer, smell better, look fresher, earn more money and have more friends who correspondingly will be the type to have yachts and beach houses and who will want to invite you to stay there free of charge whenever you like.  No kidding.

I'll leave with some pics of me whooping it up at various par-tays over the years, because you know this shit won't be going down this year.  In bed by 10pm or my name's not Slapdash Mama.

See youse next year.  Have a drink on me.  Mwah.


  1. I must say that I particularly enjoyed the subtle boob grope in the second picture. Stealthy.

    Happy New Year.

  2. Ha! I hadn't even noticed. Hilarious! happy new year z.

  3. I'm smelling better already! I head off on my big super-yacht, to my gorgeous beach mansion, to write yet another best-seller! Don't be jealous! Happy New Year!

    1. I'm not jealous because I too am writing this from a beachside mansion a la Hamptons. You know how it is! Happy NY Sulky x

  4. I love you for you. Happy new year friend. See you tomorrow. Xxx

  5. Love it. Resolution: generally being awesome. Nah, couldn't be arsed.

    Toasting you with a glass of bubbles.

  6. Love it - of course!

    You already do no. 5 of first list all the time!
    I can really help with no. 12 (of first list) with a cheat's winner of a recipe.
    Number 13 (first one in first list) is definitely not what it is cracked up to be. Why would you? Much better to boost the economy and support struggling workers in China.
    Number 14 (first one in first list) is a definite! You go girl! I have no doubts and I want to be invited to the award ceremony as your biggest fan!
    Number 13 (second one in first list) - tick! - already accomplished!
    Have a great New Year! Looking forward to seeing you soon!

    1. Ha! Boosting the economy is what I do best! See you soon R. xx

    2. I also only just noticed my duplication of numbers in the first list. Drunk already!

  7. wish I could think of something funny to say ..thats your department

    Happy New Year

    pissfitness? you wouldnt be a QLDer would you?


  8. Your lists look a lot like my lists!

  9. So do I get a guarantee about living longer, smelling better, getting better friends just for reading your blog? Why aren't you charging for this privilege? Seriously, all the best for the new year, regardless of which list you end up going with or if you just end winging it through 2013 - either way, have a good one!

    1. Haha Kirsty! I can smell you from here, you smell like ROSES! That'll be 50 clams thanks very much. Thanks for visiting, come again!!

  10. Great post! I stopped doing new year's resolutions because well, besides them being a bore, I did tend to find myself with the same list.
    Great party photos. Were you in bed by 10pm this year?

    1. Grace would you believe we stayed up til midnight!!! Crazy I know...xx

  11. Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this website. It's simple, yet
    effective. A lot of times it's tough to get that "perfect balance" between usability and appearance. I must say you've done a
    superb job with this. Also, the blog loads very quick for me on
    Safari. Outstanding Blog!

    my blog post ... vu duo blackhole Cccam


Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...