Stuff and junk and writing and not writing and hooks and pineapples and that.

I get hardly any time to update this here blog thing at the moment. Starting the blog has definitely reignited my love of writing, that is for sure. Well, when I say love, what I actually mean is weird obsessive NEED. I can hardly think of anything else.

Everything I hear, see, do, makes me think of something to write.  The frustration of constant words circulating in my brain and nowhere to vomit them out is just indescribable. In that I cannot actually describe it. It is just that indescribable. See I just can't describe it's indescribableness.

For example, Mum came for a visit today, and she was telling me about some weird family gathering she went to yesterday with her blind cousin who lives somewhere called "Bald Knob" or "Hairy Bum" or something ,and her other cousin who had a brain tumour and no short term memory, and they ate bone broth and drank tap water and reminisced about days of yore.  While we were having this conversation...

Mum: So we were talking about old Uncle Bill C____, and you know, how he had a hook for an arm, and...
Me: Wait, what? He had a HOOK for an arm?
Mum: Yeah, yeah he had a hook for an arm, you know, and he was married to Auntie A___, who was a bat...
Me: WTF? He married a bat?
Mum: Her NAME was Bat, stop interrupting. Anyway so he had a hook for an arm and he owned a pineapple farm in Yeppoon, and...
Me: He ran a PINEAPPLE FARM??!
Mum: *rolling eyes* YES of course he ran a pineapple farm, you know that, anyway and Cousin V____,  he couldn't remember ever meeting me! And so I told him how he used to put elephant beetles down my shirt when we visited the pineapple farm...
Me: Elephant beetles!?
Mum: YES! You know this story! Anyway, so I told him about the elephant beetles, and how he lived with us for a while when he was studying, and...
Me: Oh, and then he remembered who you were?
Mum: Yes! Well, only for about five minutes until he asked me again and I told him about the elephant beetles again, you know, because of the brain tumour thing, and...
Me: Hang on, he has a BRAIN TUMOUR?!!

..basically, all I could think was "NOT FAIR how come I wasn't at this gathering with the people with the brain tumours and hooks and the pineapples and the bats  I TOTALLY COULD HAVE PUT IT ON THE BLOG!".


Anyway look what I did there, I put it on the blog anyway.

I know the blog seems silly and sweary and blarghyarghy but I get a huge amount of satisfaction from it.

But it is SO hard to find the time to actually put pen finger to paper keyboard.

Anyway I'm not looking for sympathy, just, you know, venting my spleen and shit. Well, maybe not venting my shit. That's just gross.

Let's move on quickly.

When I actually get time to write something there are so many ideas floating around in my head that I am rendered sort of mute.

Sometimes I think I might never update the blog ever again. And then I do. And I feel better for a while.

So here I am. Updating the blog.

Party Planning.

Went for a walk this morning, and you know what it made me think of? Why, it was just like hiking around the Swiss alps! So INVIGORATING and BRISK! I felt so energised and full of vim and vigour after that, just like I was in a Norsca ad! I simply love to get my alpine on at any given opportunity.*

Summer in Queensland. You are a cruel mistress. I think I hate you. Come back winter, I'm sorry I was nasty. I'll never complain about being cold ever again.**

P dressed herself in a corduroy skirt and cardigan this morning. I know, I think I started schvitzing like a shmendrek just looking at her.  Whatever that means.

In other ACTUAL news, I hear that our glorious leader Julia's called a federal election for September. Interesting times.

I love a good election. Lots of people are speculating as to why old Joolz has given us all such a huge lead in time.  Well, it's obvious you dummies! This unusually extended campaigning period will give us all plenty of time to plan associated election parties, a la Don's Party. Frankly the last election (which was a state one anyway) was a fizzer socially and I for one am determined to improve things this year.  It was damned considerate of the PM to think about the most important part of the whole voting caper, the booze up afterwards.  Good work Julia.

The election party to end all election parties was undoubtedly the one we attended for the federal election in 2007. Without declaring my hand, politically speaking,  we were all very excited that year for some reason. Anyway, it was at my friend J's house. She was the hostess with the mostess. 

We all dressed in electorally themed costumes. There was a Pork Barrel, an Aspirational Voter, a Blue Ribbon Liberal, a Trade Unionist, a Blue Collar Worker and Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard and Peter Garrett even put in appearances!

We played an amusing drinking game with colour coordinated shots. Blue for Libs, Red for Labor, Green for, well, the Greens.

There may have been a mullet wig that did the rounds as well.

It was so much fun.

I don't know if it can be topped but we should try. Although it might be more of a wake than a celebration. Just saying.

Save the date dudes.

EDITED TO ADD: Tune in every Friday for my Slapdash Election 2013 Recap.  Can't be bothered reading the paper? Too depressed by the news?  Disengaged, confused, bored, indifferent, downright APATHETIC?  Fear not my Slapdash Army.  Let me tell you what to think.

TRUST ME!


*Am using that old faithful literary technique IRONY again. As is my wont.

**We all know I'm lying here. Don't tell Old Man Winter though, I need to get into his good books.