Bloguary. Hot in the city.

So I'm thinking of blogging every day in January. It's really hard because I find it difficult to fit anything else in around my unfortunate addiction to Breaking Bad. In fact, I've already missed a day. In fact I missed the first day of January.

Anyway, if I had actually started it properly I was totally going to call it "Bloguary" and it was going to become a social media phenomenon with a logo and shit.

 

Anyone want to join in? Can you make me a logo?

Anyway, it's absolutely fucking ridiculous weather at the moment. Tomorrow is probably going to be the hottest day round these parts IN ALL OF TIME.  Thank God we have a progressive federal government who are embracing climate change mitigation like there's no tomorrow. OH HANG ON NO WE DON'T.

We escaped to my inlaws who have aircon and a pool. I wore my togs there and after I had a swim I realised that I hadn't brought any undies to change into. This would have raised the awkward choice between wearing my short cotton dress with no knickers (undesirable), or asking my 70+ year old mother-in-law to borrow a pair of hers (not my first preference), had I not noticed that I had conveniently stashed a pair of harem pants in the swimming bag at an earlier juncture. Thank God. Wearing them undie free was by far the better option.

Saved by the harem pants. Is there nothing they can't do?

Stay cool hombres.

Double entendres.

Hello there. I must stop this sporadic blogging because it makes it hard to know where to begin, my life is just that rich and full. Maybe I will undertake some sort of New Year blog daily challenge or some such. I'll think on it.

Anyway, I will start by saying, DO YOU KNOW, MR HUMPHRIES, MY PUSSY WAS SO HOT AND FURRY, I HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN THE SHOPS TO GET IT SHAVED!

"Mr. Humphries!  Leave my pussy alone!"

No, not THAT pussy you filthy beasts. Animals, the lot of you.

THIS pussy!

Before!

After! HAHAHA! Oh dear. I hardly recognised my pussy! Not quite a Brazilian but the feline equivalent of leaving a "landing strip" perhaps? A poodle cut maybe?

I had cleaned up one too many hairball vomits and cut poo out of her bum fur for the last time, my friends. This is the way of the future. I cannot believe we hadn't done it sooner. I am NEVER getting a long haired cat again. To be fair, this cat sort of foisted herself upon us.

I mean, I really LOVE cats, but this one PUSHES HER LUCK! I mean, she strolls in here, weasles her way into our hearts, forces us to adopt her, and then proceeds to VOMIT HAIRBALLS every five seconds whilst determinedly refusing to do any of the PLEASANT tasks that are the lot of a feline pet, like you know, letting you cuddle her or showing any interest in sitting on a lap. She is as aloof as a..well, I don't know what but FREAKING ALOOF.

When she's not crying to be rescued off the roof that is. That's right my friends. She can get ONTO the roof, but apparently not OFF the roof. Once again I was forced to retrieve her from said roof this evening using a LADDER. I KNOW! THE FREAKING HUMANITY!

In other news, it's hot, I've had ANOTHER tummy bug, we went to Kingscliffe and it was lovely, it's hot, I'm sweaty, P had her actual real life dance concert and by Jove it was hilarious for about the first 1 1/2 hours and then by the end of the ALMOST 3 HOURS we were FLAGGING just a bit. THE FREAKING HUMANITY! Also it's hot, I've done some Christmas shopping ONLINE and feel SMUG about it, I want to go and live in a RURAL IDYLL and buy a CHEAP HOUSE so we can stop being wage slaves and LIVE FOR THE NOW and craft shit and grow crap and sew and cook and be creative bohemian rural types. STYLISH ones. Not, you know, unfashionable ones. PERISH THE THOUGHT. Also I wish I could take artistic photos. Damn my pork sausage fingers.

Anyway I think I'm starting to become incoherent so here's some Kingscliffe visuals. Is that how you spell it? I'm losing it.

Ciao bellas.