Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Bacon. Work trip. Periods. The Spill. Also, bacon.

Good day to you Loungers. Welcome. I hope you are all well.  Feel free to rest your politics-weary bones on our comfy couches, and pour yourself a snifter of scotch. You know Julia would.


Today we are freestyling it! Sort of. Link up any post you like! AS LONG AS IT HAS THE MAGICAL KEYWORD OF MAGIC IN IT.

Today's keyword is: BACON.


I will also accept FACON. For the vege-matarians out there.


I have been busily busying it up working mother style recently so it's all been quiet on the blog front. I had a trip out to Dalby for work which was alternately interesting, freezing, boring, exhausting, aggravating, titillating, confusing, and weird.


Anyway I got to wear a hard hat, steel capped boots and a high vis vest so ALL WAS NOT IN VAIN.


Here's some scenery.








Here I am in my glad rags taking selfies in my motel room before dinner.



Here are my steel capped boots.




Here is my vest and helmet. And slightly crazed expression.



I had been quite looking forward to the trip because, well, you know, KIDS and STRESS and NIGHT AWAY. And yeah, I'm not going to lie to you, that was pretty good. I missed the little blighters though, what with P's recent health dramas I felt a bit nervy about it all. Also I am still breastfeeding Baby B. Who, frankly, is fast becoming Toddler B. So I was worried about my boobs.  Also (and look I don't mean to be CRUDE or INDISCREET or whatever but look we're all girls here. Actually no we aren't. I do apologise.) but I also had, um, rather a HEAVY MENSTRUAL FLOW GOING ON.

So what with my exploding boobs and the traipsing around in the bush with limited access to the loo I WAS A BIT ANXIOUS.  If I could devise a hashtag for my experience of the trip it would be #shitmendonothavetoworryabout

Still I managed with a smile on my face and a spring in my steel capped boots. Because I am a PROFESSIONAL.

In an unrelated segway, it would be remiss of me not to mention the ole Spill tonight.  For the international punters, the Australian Labor Party chucked over the PM Julia Gillard for Evil Machiavellian Genius Kevin Rudd tonight. What a palava. High emotion, people.

It's hard to express my feelings in words, but in an attempt to do just that I have chosen the format of an acrostic poem. Using the word bacon. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Bon voyage Julia, our first female Prime Minister
Although her time with us is done because of men most sinister
Convoys of cleavage, misogyny speeches, all of these things couldn't rattle her
Often she was criticized by shock jocks like Howard Sattler
Now Rudd is back. Don't eff it up Kev, or Bill Shorten will have you killed.

(OK that doesn't rhyme but you all know it's true).

Over to you, bacon lovers. I can smell the crackling from here.

44 comments:

  1. I was wondering how I could incorporate bacon into my post but after reading yours I'm sure I can do it somehow!

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    1. I certainly couldn't claim to have used it in a particularly witty way! That's what happens when you write it at the eleventh hour!!

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  2. I love your ode to bacon, while discussing the proverbial sty our federal politicians are hanging out in.

    Also, epic applause to you. Being bush having a 'lady situation' such as that would not have been awesome.

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    1. Thanks! It definitely was not awesome but I managed! Yes, a sty. It is a bit isn't it! Depressing.

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  3. Awesome, Sarah. Scenery shots: a delight to behold. Crazed expression in helmet: a little bit creepy. Heavy menstruation: Bugger. Bacon Acrostic: Well, who doesn't love an acrostic? Rhyming rattle her and Sattler? Pure genius.

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    1. I know, right, you just cannot go wrong with an acrostic! I was tempted to write a haiku but just at the last minute I knew it wasn't the right vibe.

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  4. Looking good in the motel rooms of Dalby, Miss Slapdash! That place seems pretty. I like that type of scenery.

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    1. It was really pretty robo! Lots of cotton and wheat out that way. And such a clear day. Bloody freezing though!!!!!

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  5. This will be the link where the most people write 'see what I did there'...I know I did!

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  6. Love the poem, the steel capped boots and the photos -flat out there isn't it? Well done for surviving those trying circumstances.

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    1. Really flat! But very pretty, particularly on such a clear day.

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  7. That does sound like quite an interesting trip. It's easy to have an opinion on rural issues from the comfort of my keyboard - would be quite good to have a first hand look. And, hey, who doesn't love to rock a pair of steel capped boots! Great poem :)

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    1. It was actually incredibly interesting to talk to people out there. Amazing really. I am a soft flabby city girl.

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  8. Don't eff it up Kev, or Bill Shorten will have you killed.
    So true, so true! I do like a bit of high drama.
    It's nice to get away from family sometimes, but I feel for you if you had leaky breasts AND periods whilst traipsing around unfamiliar parts. Power to you!

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    1. Not leaky just a bit hard and lumpy! I was surreptitiously feeling them all day!

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  9. My goodness. Having to wear a hard hat and steel-capped boots to protect yourself from exploding boobs. Now that is impressive! #shitmendonothavetoworryabout

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  10. Leaky boobs and Aunty FLO man you are woman hear you roar. I would have been in the fetal position screaming while Paul threw chocolate from a distance of 5km.

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    1. I know right! Talk about bad timing. Although the boobs aren't leaky just sort of hard and a bit sore. Was squeezing them on the sly all day LOL.

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  11. Man I love the way you write, it's exactly how you talk and it CRACKS ME UP! Thanks for the smile Sarah - and I hear you about things that men don't have to worry about - oh to have a willy!
    LOVE what you said about Shorten, very true, he must love the fact he is a puppeteer of the party!
    Hope to link up soon - gotta find something sizzling to write about yet!
    xxx

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    1. Yes he is the kingmaker. Some might even say a snake in the grass! Haven't read your post yet but you are next my friend!

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  12. Ha ha...shit men don't have to deal with! I love it! I often think that but I still wouldn't want to be a man!

    In other news, I have been eating some serious bacon back here in the States...American bacon...crispy and delicious!

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    1. Me either! I love being a laaaadddyy.
      Bacon. Oh yeah. Bacon.

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  13. I want to hear about the titillating part. Also, you look HOT. HOT I tell you. How do you look hot while leaking everything? You…are amaaaaaziiiiiiingggggg (I'm singing, like Alex Lloyd. Can you hear me from over there?) Yoooou do amaaaazingggg thingggggs.

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    1. Naturally I only posted flattering pics of myself! I looked lumpen and crazed and freezing all day!

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  14. Um, do tell, boobs...did they go crazy hard? I'm just thinking Thursday/Fridays I will skip the lunchtime feed and the occasional arvo snack feed.

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post. xxxx

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    1. B is only having morning and before bed feeds. He's 16 months so I could probably wean him but I haven't got the wherewithal at the moment. I took my pump to just do one pump before bed but it didn't work for some reason so I hand expressed in te shower. By then end of the second day the ole boobs were pretty hard and a bit sore so I was worried but it was all ok. Talk about complicated!!!

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  15. I love the way you write. You always have me in hysterics!

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  16. I'm thinking I must change one of the title of my old blog posts to bacon. You really do make me laugh :)

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  17. You wont believe this but I had to do the Coal Seam Gas tour as well - it was many many moons ago in the pre-child era. I didn't have the foresight to pack steel cap boots and I didn't get to wear a hard hat - what a sexy, sexy look that would have been. I recall traipsing around fields in the middle of nowhere to look at gas wells. Luckily I wasn't experiencing shit that men dont have to put up with at the time. Anyhows bring on menopause with a serve bacon on the side.

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    1. We got lent the boots otherwise I would have been clip clopping round in some eminently inappropriate shoes that's fo sho

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  18. In awe of your poetry as ever ;-). still no internet at home so I am going to attempt to blog from the phone!!! Don't know if I'll be able to link up but ill give it a go ...

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    1. I did!!! But I couldn't work out how to insert the link.to here in the post, sorry :-( xx

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  19. Love the poem! And I love (I think), the fact that I had a post with the word bacon in it already - win!

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  20. So awesome! Thanks for linking up! Star Trekkers unite!

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  21. Fantastic poem and love your selfie. I'm hopeless at selfies, always end up with an odd look on my face. Thanks again for linking up with the Mystery Case Sharing is Caring Sunday.

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  22. Sorry to hear about P's dramas. Hope things are improving. Love your selfie efforts. Now I'm off to have some bacon.

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Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

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