Friday, October 11, 2013

A winner and a pome..

Today I announce the much anticipated winner of my 1st Blogaversary Giveaway Exravaganza!

It was tough choosing a winner. From those few who entered, there were some sterling spleen ventings. Sterling.

But I have to choose one. I hate to do it really.  I'd like to say that spleen venting was the winner today but that's not the way this competition works.

So, without much further ado, I announce that the winner issss -

NESS OF BOGANVILLE! Mainly because she is growing a beard, just like me, and frankly has a better excuse (aka surrounded by testosterone) than I do.

OK so Ness here is your prize. A poem, just for you.

I have written it in the style of Keats, an updated version of his sonnet "On First Looking into Chapman's Homer" which you can conveniently read here on ole Wikipedia if you felt overcome with the urge to Improve your Mind with Highbrow pomes.

On First Looking into Ness's Boganville

Much have I travell'd in the realms of bogan,
And many bogan states and Kingswoods seen;
Round many western suburbs have I been
Which bogans in Falcons to The Footy Show hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told
That fair-browed Ness ruled as her demesne;
Yet did I never breathe its pure serenity now
Til I heard Ness speak out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of the footy
When a new ball springs onto the field
Or like stout Alfie Langer when with eagle eyes
He star'd at the referee- and all his men
Look'd at each other with a wild surmise -
Silent, upon a peak in Darren Lockyer.

28 comments:

  1. Feck- you are excellent. Has anyone ever told you that you are excellent. Ness is a most deserving winner.
    Now tell me the truth - you are totally chapping at the bit to write a love sonnet with the words Brenda and Fassbender - aren't you ;-)

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  2. That's hilarious. Especially as I couldn't care less about footy despite my Boganville address. I'm guessing Darren Lockyer is a footballer??

    Regardless, I am honoured. I knew there would eventually be a purpose for my beard.

    Thanks, love! xo

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    Replies
    1. You are welcome! Also, I KNEW you were a fake bogan. ALL BOGANS KNOW ABOUT FOOOOOOTTTTYYY don't they????? I'm sure they do!!!

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    2. SHHHHHHHHHHH, don't tell anyone!! I've got nothing else for my blog except that boring as batshit bogan stuff. Ahem.

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  3. Brilliant. I love Keats, love Ness, love this!

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    Replies
    1. I think Keats would be turning in his grave. I can feel a SMiths song coming on...

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    2. Oh Keats and Yeats are on your side. But you lose because Oscar Wilde is on mine.

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    3. Some girls really are bigger than others!

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    4. Oscar's de man. I read a wee story about him, apparently he heard someone say something very amusing and commente "Oh, I wish I had said that!" to which his friend replied "Oh, you will Oscar, you will..."

      Whenever I am lying in the gutter, star gazing, I shall think of all you :)

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  4. OMG, didn't understand a WORD of it so it must be most excellent! - Totally distraught not to have an ode to mine own self (as Im sure Keats would say) but a deserving winner, if I let my beard grow will you write a sonnet to it???

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    Replies
    1. Yes i will! You don't understand a word of it because it doesn't make any sense! HAHAH

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  5. Amazing! Well done! There are not many who can combine Keats and Lockyer!

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    Replies
    1. As far as talents go, replacing words in famous poems for shits and giggles is not proving to be very lucrative, mores the pity...

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  6. A most excellent pome my friend, and a most deserving recipient. Keats is a dude. And you are a dudette. You guys could totes get married if you weren't already and he wasn't a bit dead.

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    Replies
    1. True. Dead dudes are kind of wet blankets in bed I think...

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  7. wow tres impressive !!! Happy Birthday dear Blogger ..I can't beieve it's a year ...actually that's not true , I believe what you tell us..(gosh the power you have) ,,I do remember meeting and talking to you through other blogs and now look !

    You're still one of the most original voices out there.

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    Replies
    1. Oh thanks smr I remember talking with you on other blogs too! xx

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  8. A most excellent pome. I'm probably more familiar with Keats' work than I am Lockyer's - so there's definitely something for everyone here! What a truly inspired prize concept!

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    Replies
    1. Yes to be honest I had to think hard about some footy names...and turns out Ness doesn't even know who I am talking about anyway!!! HA!

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  9. You're a wordsmith Slapdash. Nice work. x

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  10. Written perhaps in the same style as John Lennon?

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  11. What a wordsmith Sarah - just so clever! And Ness is a deserving winner, she makes me laugh with her accounts of living in bogan and I love it and her! Hope you're not sweltering in this heat, and to think it's not even summer! :( xx

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    Replies
    1. I know - we should try and have a catchup asap xx

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Vent your spleen! You know you want to.

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